a peek inside the fishbowl

01 Sep, 2026

Celebrating my 54th time around the sun

By andrea tomkins in Misc. life

I’ve run into some folks around town this summer who know me or follow me here and/or social media and a comment I frequently hear is “WOW ARE YOU HAVING A GREAT SUMMER.” I am, thank you! I AM having a very nice summer. I have a list and I’m checking things off! (This, despite the fact that the garden needs weeding and the baseboards are dusty. But I think the baseboards can wait.)

I decided to celebrate my 54th summer on this planet with a 1-second a day video I made during the month of August. It is a bit all over the place because my intent behind this video changed almost every single day. I debated whether to show a visual list of joyous moments, for example, or more ordinary ones. Should the theme should be #VacayEveryDay? And then I wondered, too late, if there were too many selfies. Sigh. Well, it is precisely all and none of those things as you will quickly see if you click below.

One second a day in August

Midlife crisis? Nah. This is my midlife comeback.

(If you follow me on Instagram you can watch it with music here. It’s better that way, I think.)

Seeing 31 days laid out this way reminds me that anti-aging could be defined as remembering to live. And I guess that’s ultimately what I tried to do this monthlong project: Remember to live.

Related to this… The other day I test drove the phrase “SEMI RETIREMENT” in a conversation at the gym and as soon as it rolled off my tongue I heard it reverberating through the room and saw it clunking to the ground in a sad dusty heap. As it sat there, surrounded by awkward silence, I remembered that I wasn’t entirely happy with this term.

As I grappled, someone helpfully pointed out I am “consciously choosing a path of improved life balance,” which I would say is phrasing that is closer to the truth. I appreciate the reframe, kind gym friend!

I am choosing a life of improved life balance. That being said, it’s not all wine and roses. I am still feeling antsy. And I am still skimming LinkedIn and meeting with folks about job-related things. And I worry… but maybe that’s just my brain struggling to find a new gear. I have not resolved big questions in my mind about Life’s Purpose and what I should actually be doing right now. But I do think I am heading in the right direction. Maybe.

Solo camping was almost entirely an impulse decision. I’d had half an eye on Fitzroy Provincial Park as a potential camping destination for Mark, Sunny, and myself. Sunny has never camped overnight in a tent (only a yurt) and I thought that trying out a site close to Ottawa for a night or two might be a good idea in case she was barky, naughty, hard to manage, or all of the above.

So, yes, Fitzroy. About a month ago I decided to see if there were any last-minute spots available, and there were. And THEN I thought, most selfishly, WHAT IF I TOOK THAT FOR SPOT MYSELF! (?)

** Before I go much further I should state for the record that our definition of camping is decidedly CAR CAMPING at sites that have – at a minimum – potable water and vault toilets. Just so you can get a more fulsome picture of where I’m coming from here.

The bathroom situation at Fitzroy PP

So the idea of solo camping has really only been a ghost of an idea, but when it occurred to me it took hold like few things have this past year.

We’ve camped for many years as a family and as such it’s not a completely foreign exercise, but could I do it by myself?

To many, I’m sure, car camping 45 minutes outside of the big city is not really a big deal. The number of Things That Can Go Horribly Wrong are minimized simply because you’re not far from civilization. But the way I saw it, this COULD represent a baby step towards bigger/longer/harder solo camping trips.

Will it build resilience and aptitude? Possibly.
Am I a tougher cookie than I was last week? Absolutely.

I worry about things, and sometimes that worry tips into fear territory.

Perhaps surprisingly, here’s my list of things I wasn’t overly worried about: chainsaw-wielding maniacs, peeing in the woods, running out of food, falling off my paddle board, various bugs and critters, death and dismemberment.

(Speaking of critters, a sign near the park entrance warned of a bear sighting at the day beach of all things… basically, the most populated area of a campground BY FAR.)

And here, my friends, are the things I was worried about.

Getting lost 

I worry about getting lost, like, in everyday life, and, while this is the flip side of the same coin, I also worry about not knowing exactly where I am.

I have amazingly poor orientation skills. I never know which way I’m coming and, worse, which way I’m going. North, South, East, West? I only know it as Never Eat Sour Watermelon and that’s about the extent of it. (Oh and the sun rises in the East and sets in the West.)

The invention of the GPS was a godsend. If you can believe it, I even turn it on when I navigate known roads here in the city simply because it brings me comfort. But campgrounds, they are a different beast. Campgrounds are purposely designed as a geographical tapestry of narrow dirt roads, some of which are, understandably, one way loops… which is great for pedestrian safety but almost guarantees that I will be revisiting that loop again — and again —  as I try to get my bearings sans GPS. And adding to this confusion, the maps rarely match the scale in my mind.

You know what? During this camping trip I did not get lost! I did get mildly turned around when I was returning from a hike on the first day but I always found myself where I wanted to be.

Adding to this, I also did not get lost on my hike. Phew.

Setting up the tent by myself

In our family’s history it typically takes at least three people to set up a tent. Mark and I, and one or more of our (now adult) children, who have excellent patience, memory, and puzzle-solving abilities. But here I was, with a relatively new tent, and only my own foggy puzzler to work it out. Thankfully, the instructions were pictograms that were literally sewn into the tent case. I took a deep breath and took it one step at a time, taking short breaks to enjoy the view. At one point I was really struggling to bend the end of the (semi-flexible) tent poles into the grommet it needed to go. As I did so I remembered the scene in The Odyssey when the suitors had to string the bow (if you know, you know) BUT I flexed my muscles and DID IT.

Tornados (new this year!)

In my list of things I wasn’t afraid of I mentioned death and dismemberment but I didn’t mention THE MEANS. Given the summer we’ve had — and the fact that the tornado warning we had this week actually mentioned Fitzroy Provincial Park by name no less — it did cross my mind.

Sigh.

Seeing this all written down, it is clear that my fears aren’t exactly rational. Most fears aren’t, I imagine. But the way we deal with our fears is by, er, dealing with them. Call it exposure therapy, but the more we do something that worries us the more easier it will become. This is a big part of the reason I embarked on this solo camping trip to begin with.

A bit about Fitzroy Provincial Park

Fitzroy PP is a pretty spot, and very accessible for young families and campers who don’t have a lot of experience. It’s not as wild/remote/nature-immersive as Algonquin Park, but everyone has a different comfort level with this. I get it.

This is the camp store, by the way:

Camp store at Fitzroy PP

(Funny story: as I was leaving with my two bags of wood an older fellow remarked upon my ability to carry it! Yessir, this is why I go to the gym!)

My site (285) was right on the Carp River so I spent a lot of time sitting and staring at the water and into the trees. (Here’s a quick video walkthrough if you want to see what it looked like.) It was fairly quiet. There’s a campsite through the trees on the left but nothing on the right.

There were bats and fireflies, frogs and dragonflies. No shortage of nature to watch in wonder.

This was site 285 at Fitzroy Harbour PP

My set up at site 285 at Fitzroy Harbour Provincial Park

The Carp River Trail is a must-see. It’s short, and so pretty I had to go back the next day.

Carp River Trail at Fitzroy Harbour PP

Entrance to the Carp River Trail

If you know me you know I have a thing for mushroom spotting, and there were plenty of those along the trail. These two photos is scratching the surface of the number of photos I took but I didn’t want this post to be about mushrooms. :D

Mushroom spotting at Fitzroy Harbour PP

Mushroom spotting along the Carp River Trail

Paddle boarding along the Ottawa River was a highlight and I wish I could have lingered longer on the water and on the beach.

I launched from the small beach (aka the “Camper Beach”) which was a short walk away from my site. The water here is shallow and calm; perfect for a slow and restful paddle. I had some record wildlife sightings too: a mother deer and her two fawns on the shoreline, and lots of cool birds.

Paddleboarding at Fitzroy Harbour Provincial Park

View of the small beach at Fitzroy Harbour PP

No camping trip is complete without a hot dog roasted over the fire. I am a fan of cutting them spider style for the extra browning that occurs. There were no marshmallows for me, unfortunately, as I ate an entire bagged salad and was so full I couldn’t eat another bite. (Overall I brought too much food. I came home with about half of everything. Lesson learned. But then again, a gal likes to have some CHOICES amirite?)

Spider dogs, as one does

Bagged salad is an easy way to get your veg

Libation with a view at Fitzroy Harbour PP

This was my breakfast the next day. Glorious.

Breakfast with a view at Fitzroy Harbour PP

I think I may have watched too many old movies as a kid and this next part is going to sound koo koo krazy coming from an adult but I’ve always secretly wanted to try sleeping like a cowboy… yes, on the ground next to an open fire. This was prime time for the Perseids (an annual meteor shower that takes place from July 17 to August 24) and I struggled to stay awake in my camp chair so I just spread out a picnic blanket next to the fire pit and covered myself with a second warm and fluffy blanket I brought with me. Guess what? The ground is very hard! Those cowboys didn’t have it easy.

As soon as I started to fall asleep I moved into my comfy tent. The air mattress was so comfortable – or maybe I was just so so tired – that I dropped on top of it and fell into a deep sleep. I didn’t see any shooting stars, but I did see a night sky that took my breath away.

Solo camping has its pros and cons for sure. For starters, it is a workout and a half. It was up to me to lug the bags of firewood, the cooler, the paddle board. I set up the tent myself, and, I took it down too… in the pouring rain. There was no other pair of hands to lighten the load.

It also felt a bit sad not to have someone to share the experience as I was living it. At one point during my stay I looked out over the Carp River and saw a large heron taking off with what I can only describe as raucous dragon-like squawking. The sound that come out of this elegant waterfowl was so surprising, but who was there to hear it other than me? No one. There was no one to turn to with wide eyes and say OMG did you hear that? Part of the joy of camping for me has been sharing that joy and surprise. BUT BUT BUT there is also something to be said for solitude, and for quieting a chaotic brain. I have to figure out how to balance that all out.

The rain came right at the very end of my stay. It was a bit annoying but also kind of perfect. I feel like I experienced everything a “proper” camping experience had to offer. And even though I drove home with a trunk full of wet and dirty gear, it felt good.

My only regret is only booking the one night. 24 hours is not actually a lot of time but at least I got a taste of everything that encompasses a typical camping experience: sun, rain, sand, the smell of woodsmoke and hotdogs over an open fire, mixed with a whiff of bug spray. Nature. Trees. Mushrooms. Water. Is there anything better? I’m not sure there is.

Will I go solo camping again? I am planning on it.

(Questions? Thoughts? I have comments turned off on all posts but you can send me an email.)

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10 Aug, 2026

My new life mantra

By andrea tomkins in Misc. life

In 2022, Mark and I took the train to Quebec City for a wee getaway. It was August. It was my birthday weekend and we stayed in deluxe accommodations. It was glorious. Food! Art! History! Wandering! And ohhh, the stairs. So many stairs! Why is old Quebec City so hilly??? [Answer: because it is built upon Cap Diamond (Cap-Diamant), a dramatic natural promontory and sheer cliff face overlooking a narrow point of the St. Lawrence River.]

I am sure we burned as many calories as we ate.

At one point during this trip we found ourselves at a cafe in a pedestrian square in old Quebec called the Café La Maison Smith Notre-Dame. We sat and enjoyed a slow recaffination with a pretty view.

Café La Maison Smith Notre-Dame, Quebec City (2022)

Maybe I just really needed the boost but the coffee was delicious and I felt my batteries charging up as we sat there.

And perhaps this was a strange thought to have while enjoying a special moment, but as much as I was enjoying this excellent coffee, I found myself thinking about the fact that I also have excellent coffee at home.

Logically, there were a few reasons why THIS coffee seemed better than usual: I was (a) with Mark (b) on a nice holiday (c) feeling happy (d) enjoying the view (e) relieved to be resting my weary legs (f) grateful for the privilege of being able to travel.

Clearly, there was a lot zooming around in my brain contributing to My General State of Being, not just the coffee, although coffee seemed to be the centre of my universe at the moment.

In hindsight I realize that what had happened was that I created a new mindset for myself. This vacation mindset can absolutely be transferred into non-holiday moments. In fact, you can do it anywhere, anytime. And I do, and now it’s become my mantra: Vacay Every Day.

Tiny vacation-type feelings aren’t hard to find in everyday moments. All you need to do is fully focus on whatever pleasant thing that is happening. Really engage your senses. Is a pretty view? Sink into it. Is it a flavour? Really savour it.

ie.“This coffee, it’s vacation-level good.”

And don’t just think it, say it out loud. I think it makes it more effective somehow. Perhaps there’s a different part of the brain that processes and files away what it hears, making sure it takes root instead of floating away.

At its core, this practice is really about recognizing good things and expressing gratitude. It just brings pleasant holiday vibes into ordinary, everyday life in a slightly different way.

Sidebar: The brain is a powerful thing. We are more likely to dwell on bad and sad things than good things, but we can control our thoughts. When we veer off trail, we can course correct. This is not to say that we should live in a state of blind happiness and ignore everything else, no. Bad things still need to be processed and figured out, but we don’t need to needlessly ruminate on things, over and over.

I guess it all comes down to this… the more we are able to find joy in small things, the happier we will be. It’s something I’ve been working on this summer… making memories, and making them stick. Vacay every day, whether I’m actually on vacation, or not.

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The Obligatory Blurb

My name is Andrea and I live in Ottawa with my husband Mark and our dog Sunny who is kind of a big deal on Instagram. During the day I work as a freelance writer. I am a longtime Ottawa blogger and I've occupied this little corner of the WWW since 1999. The Fishbowl is my whiteboard, water cooler, and journal, all rolled into one. I'm passionate about healthy living, arts and culture, travel, great gear, good food, and sharing the best of Ottawa. I also love vegetables, photography, gadgets, and great design.

If you're so inclined, you can read more about me here.

I've deactivated the commenting function as well as my contact form so if you want to get in touch, please drop me a line at quietfish@gmail.com. Thank you!

 


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