21 Sep, 2017
When should you give your kids their first smart phone? (Part 1)
“When you eat an orange, eat an orange.”
I don’t know who originally said this. Some sources attribute it to an unnamed Zen master, others, to Vietnamese Buddhist monk and religious leader, Thich Nhat Hanh. Regardless who said it, this philosophy is one I try to live by and instill in our kids. It reminds me to live in the moment and to focus on the task at hand. If I focus on peeling, chewing, truly spending time with that orange, I enjoy that orange much more, and my busy brain has a chance to regroup. Eating an orange can be a contemplative act (a mini-meditation, in a way!), or a rush job over the sink while I’m checking my email for the 100th time that day. And where’s the joy in that? Sometimes I eat that last slice of orange (or let’s be real, the last chip in the bowl) without even realizing I did it.
I always loved going back to school, so it was pretty exciting when it came time to stock up on new binders, pens and pencils, and stacks of clean white papers. This excitement has carried over to my adult years. I still feel a little thrill when buying office supplies, and I enjoy taking my daughters – who are now in high school and university – to buy new supplies for school as well. Of course, it’s different now than when I was a kid. Marketers have done a remarkable job of convincing parents that kids need all kinds of new gear to be successful students. Much of it is technology – laptops, tablets, e-readers smartphones – and there is a surge of sales of these items this time of year.
Here’s the thing. I don’t think kids in elementary school need a smartphone. And it’s very likely that he or she is too young for it.
Our eldest daughter received her phone when she started high school. She’s 18 now. Awhile back I asked her at what age kids should get their first phone. Her answer might surprise you: high school.
I should point out that she’s been spending the last five or six summers working with school-age kids as a camp counselor and has firsthand experience. She’s met kids who can’t focus, don’t know how to play, or get along with others. We can’t blame technology for all of this, of course, but I do believe it is a contributing factor. At the very least, smartphones, computer games, and apps do not cultivate patience or teach kids how to get along face-to-face.
My daughter thinks kids should get really good at being kids first, because learning how to play and get along with others is a critical skill that needs practice. She doesn’t believe younger kids are ready for the responsibility of having a smartphone. And it’s not just about losing or breaking it, but knowing how to use it in a healthy way. Because health is ultimately at the core of the “When should I buy my kids a smartphone” question, and I’m not just referring to mental health, but physical health as well.
Parents want to raise the healthiest kids possible. This is not even up for debate. We make sure our kids eat a balanced diet (no matter how many arguments we have about it!), get fresh air and exercise, wear sunscreen and learn to swim. So what if someone told you that smartphones could cause more harm than good? What if someone told you that these kinds of devices lead to brain damage, a brain rewiring that affects everything from a person’s ability to study to their ability to have good relationships and hold down a job. Would that change your opinion of smartphones? Would you still rush out to buy one for your kid?
I say this now because I feel like my own brain is scrambled, and I’ve only had a smartphone for the past five years or so!
The Canadian Pediatric Society has stated that too much screen time is harmful to “aspects of cognitive and psychosocial development” and in 2012 they published the following guidelines for children and adolescents:
- Children under two: no screen time is recommended.
- Children 2-4: less than one hour screen time a day.
- Children 5-11 and youth 12-17: no more than two hours a day.
One also has to wonder, if the kids are on their phones, what are they not doing? They are probably not playing a game of pick-up hockey or dress up, doing puzzles or building a fort in the backyard. Encouraging a healthy life balance and cultivating good tech hygiene has to start early. What do you think?
Edited to add: Part two of this post is now right here.
