a peek inside the fishbowl

Mark is picking the youngest up in Kingston today, and moving her out of residence. I continue to work from home. At the moment, Piper is sitting on my lap, which is nice but she’s a tad too large to fit. Related: her Instagram account and the #terriersofinstagram community continues to bring smiles to our faces when world news remains so dreary.

A lot of parents are worried about coronavirus and how self-distancing and self-isolation will affect our lives. Some are sharing colour-coded homeschooling plans online while others say they are setting their kids free (metaphorically speaking, of course) from the shackles of school.

Our kids are adults now, and they’re almost smarter than I am, so there will be no homeschooling here. I’m trying to think back to my younger self, when our kids were younger too. What would we have done then?

I’m pretty sure I would have engineered some sort of homeschooling, but only if they were in primary grades. We definitely would have made time for play. News of social isolation would have given us the extra nudge to dig the bikes, skipping ropes, skateboards, scooters, stilts, pogo sticks, and sidewalk chalk out of the garage.

We didn’t have iDevices when the girls were small. We had computer games, but they didn’t play them often because it was my work computer. That left a lot of outdoor play when the weather was good, and all kinds of crafty projects when we were indoors. And of course, there were chores that needed to be done. In our experience, tired kids are happy kids.

Regardless of age, I think what helps people (of all ages!) is having balanced and well-structured days. There is comfort in routines. Admittedly, I haven’t been very good at it this week, but this is something I want to change while I’m working from home. Lately I’ve been coming downstairs in my pjs and jumping right into work, and of course, reading the news. Showers and breakfast come later. Then the rest of the day falls into place with a big Netflix session at the end, checking work emails before bed, plus more news etc.

There’s nothing wrong with this, exactly, but it also doesn’t really work for my mental health.

This week I’ve dropped my daily meditation practice, much of my fitness and outdoor time (because I’m working from home and no longer walking to work), and am spending way more time reading the news. Mark reads a lot of news too, and I certainly understand why: (1) The news has been changing really fast and we’re hungry for updates. Unfortunately, these updates often fall between photos of empty store shelves and Examples of General Idiocy which make me wonder about the future of our world while also adding to my stress levels. (2) As Mark pointed out, we are looking for good news, and when we don’t see it we just keep scrolling. And scrolling.

So this is what I want to do to help myself … (Honestly, I don’t know if I’ll be able to do this but I am putting it out there):

• Push the restart button on my sleep habits. I haven’t been sleeping well at all. (Part of this is thanks to coronavirus nightmares and the dog waking me up in the morning). So I will unplug from the news well before bed, get to bed at a good time, and set my alarm so I don’t sleep in too long.
• Related to this, I want to get a grip on my morning routines again. For example, I used to do a mini-mediation every day before work and it was so helpful. (This is the one I listen to.) It is time to bring it back!
• I want to bring fitness back into my life. I’ve been researching online fitness classes but I think I will keep it to something I know I can do: treadmill time. So when I get up in the morning I will change into gym clothes and hop on the treadmill. Then breakfast, then shower. (Mark and I have been going for afternoon power walks, so hopefully we can keep that going.)
• I’m drinking a lot less water than I do at work, and I feel it. Time to climb on that bandwagon again.
• Write more. Maybe here?

Of course, in between all of this is work, and housework, and meals, but also fun, and family time, and entertainment.

I’ve seen a lot of parents say they’re going to be more lax with the entertainment and the electronics, and hey, do what works best for you, but I need that balance. As much as I enjoy Instagram, I really only need 15 minutes before it turns into mindless surfing. After two shows on Netflix I feel like a potato, both physically and mentally. I don’t want that.

Sidebar: Did you know that many mental health professionals I’ve spoken to recommend that we make our bed every day? It’s a small chore but it results in big dividends in terms of happiness, satisfaction, and even confidence. Personally, I hate it while I am doing it, but I do it because I know FUTURE ANDREA will be very happy when she slides into bed with her book later.

Balance makes me happier and healthier. When I tire myself out with exercise I sleep better. When I stretch my brain with work I can rest easier. When I do my chores, I will be more content later. What about you?