a peek inside the fishbowl

21 May, 2012

Dogs v. Cats

Posted by andrea tomkins in: dog stuff

This appeared in my Inbox and I laughed so hard that I had to reproduce it here, but with photos.

A day from Piper’s Diary

8:00 am – Breakfast! My favourite thing!


9:30 am – Looked out the window! My favourite thing!


10:30 am – Had a nap! My favourite thing!


12:00 pm – Committed squeak toy murder! My favourite thing!


12:30 pm – Found a sunny spot! My favourite thing!


1:00 pm – Got my ears scritched! My favourite thing!

Ear scritching

3:00 pm – Found a sunny spot! My favourite thing!


5:30 pm – Sniffed stuff outside! My favourite thing!


5:35 pm – Found a stick! My favourite thing!


6:30 pm – Off leash time! My favourite thing!

7:45 pm – Doing tricks for dog cookies! My favourite thing!

Do a dance!

9:30 pm – Play with the people when they’re really tired! My favourite thing!


10:00 p.m. Curled up in a ball and went to bed! My favorite thing!

Piper is snoozing

A day from a Cat’s Diary

Day 983 of my captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.


There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously simple minded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move.

My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…

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7 Responses to "Dogs v. Cats"

1 | Pam @writewrds

May 21st, 2012 at 7:50 am


Beware of the top of the stairs… : D

2 | AMotherhoodBlog

May 22nd, 2012 at 7:55 am


I loved this when I first read it. Love how you added in your dogs day in photos! So cute!

3 | RobertN

May 22nd, 2012 at 6:46 pm


So cute! Greetings from Brasov!

4 | Cat Person

May 23rd, 2012 at 1:36 pm


It’s not fair that you included cute dog pictures and not cute cat pictures. That’s not very balanced journalism!

A Cat Person ;-)

5 | Alison p-h

May 23rd, 2012 at 4:49 pm


Great post! Thanks for sharing.

6 | Pamela

May 31st, 2012 at 3:23 pm


haha I love this. I have had cats forever, but recently adopted a dog and yes, it truly seems like absolutely everything is her “favourite thing.”

7 | Something new. Starring Piper! >> a peek inside the fishbowl

February 14th, 2014 at 10:49 am


[…] not sure where the narrative is going. So far it’s been a lot of selfies and posts about her favourite things, but I do see this as the beginning of a fun collaborative multimedia project. What does a dog […]

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The Obligatory Blurb

My name is Andrea and I live in the Westboro area of Ottawa with my husband Mark and our dog Piper who is kind of a big deal on Instagram. We also have two human daughters: Emma (20) and Sarah (18). During the day I work as a writer at The Royal Ottawa Mental Health Centre. I am a longtime Ottawa blogger and I've occupied this little corner of the WWW since 1999. The Fishbowl is my whiteboard, water cooler, and journal, all rolled into one. I'm passionate about healthy living, arts and culture, family travel, great gear, good food, and sharing the best of Ottawa for families. I also love vegetables, photography, gadgets, and great design.

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