a peek inside the fishbowl

This infographic shows which languages are the hardest for English-speakers to learn: http://t.co/xE3P2Buz6W pic.twitter.com/AVQ7ufna82

— ScienceAlert (@ScienceAlert) December 24, 2014

• Why American Jews Eat Chinese Food on Christmas, theatlantic.com
•  Big Beat: 10 best pieces of art I saw in Ottawa in 2014, ottawacitizen.com
• How to Write: A Year in Advice from David Mitchell, Yiyun Li, and More, theatlantic.com
• A year in photos 2014, wsj.com

On the nightstand: Slaughterhouse-Five

I’d like to steal Piper’s holiday photo from her Instagram account, but I’d like to substitute “treats” instead of “pizzle sticks” and leave the napping part intact. :)

Merry Christmas fishies! I hope you have a wonderful holiday.

I’m not a cookie baker. I’m a cookie EATER, but I’m not a cookie baker. So it goes without saying that every Christmas I feel like a failure in the cookie department. I just can’t motivate myself to mix together butter and sugar and crank out something that looks and tastes amazing. (Honestly, I prefer chips and cheese.)

So when I get my hands on an easy recipe that doesn’t require any work on my part, well, let’s just say it makes me pretty happy. So without further ado, let me present my friend Mari-beth’s recipe for Skor bars. It’s one of those recipes that you eat at someone’s house and then the hostess says something offhandedly such as: “did you know these are made out of crackers?” and then you faint, with a trail of crumbs falling out of your mouth and chocolate on your fingers, because you never imagined in your life that you can make something this delicious out of crackers.

WELL THIS IS IT. This is so easy it is ridonkulous. You can whip these up at the least convenient times; when your extended family phones FROM THE CAR and tells you they’re dropping by, the night before the class Christmas party, the afternoon of your office potluck, whenever. And everyone will rave about it and beg you to tell the story of how YOU MAKE MAGICAL THINGS OUT OF CRACKERS.

Mari-beth’s Skor bars

• One sleeve of Premium Plus crackers
• 1/2 lb  of butter
• 1 cup of brown sugar, packed
• 1 package of semi-sweet chocolate chips

1) Preheat the oven to 325F. Do this first, because everything comes together so quickly you will regret it if you don’t.

2) Grease the bottom and sides of a regular cookie sheet.

3) Dump the crackers in the pan and spread them out so they’re in a single layer. Eat remaining handful of crackers.

4) Combine the butter and sugar in a saucepan and boil ’em gently until they’re no longer separated and have formed a frothy brown syrup. (No need to use a candy thermometer! Woot!)

5) Pour the mixture evenly over the crackers. Bake for 12 minutes.

6) Remove from oven and sprinkle the chocolate chips over the whole shebang. Wait a minute for them to soften. Then, using the back of a spoon, gently swirl the chocolate to cover the sheet. Candy cane crumbs are optional. (Make these by smashing a few candy canes with a meat tenderizer.)

7) Let the tray cool a bit, then pop it in the fridge for about two hours. Once it’s set, use a sharp spatula to cut it all into pieces, right in the pan.

Let me know if you try these, and if you can refrain from eating half the tray as soon as they’re ready. :|