a peek inside the fishbowl

12 Mar, 2011

Is Glee appropriate for kids?

Posted by andrea tomkins in: Yaktivism

I was reading a BlogHer post about Glee this morning and found myself nodding my head in agreement. I still like that show. I keep recording it. Certain individuals keep me hanging on, but the show has dropped so many potentially great threads in the story arc that it makes me wonder what the writers are thinking and if they’re going to weave anything out of them at any point or if they’re gone forever.

I think Glee is pretty much doomed. (For your amusement I recommend you read a recap of “Glee’s dropped storylines” over here.) How much longer will it last before people give up on it?

The girls – remember, they are (almost) 10 and (almost) 12 – were asking Mark and I if they could watch it recently. Apparently all of their friends watch Glee (this is especially true in the elder child’s case) and I have to say, I am surprised that the parents let their kids watch the show.

I fully expect to get shot down here, but I have to put it out there anyway. Do those parents really know what goes on in the show? Or are they letting them watch it because everyone else does, and on the surface it just appears to be a show about misfit kids who love to sing?

In the past two episodes, sex and alcohol have been the main feature. I’m no prude, we talk about sex around here (even what it means to be homosexual), as well as alcohol. But I just wouldn’t know where to begin explaining things like celibacy clubs, sex tapes (Lauren and Puck had a plan, but they learned that it’d be classified as child prn if they went through with it), and why Emma and Carl haven’t consummated their 4-month old marriage.

You can read some amusing episode recaps at Television Without Pity.

Mark and I talk to the girls about responsible use of sex and alcohol. We tell the girls it’s better to be kind and smart than gorgeous and popular. I know that Glee is supposed to be entertainment, and that viewers are not supposed to search for role models in their television shows, but I have been struggling to find a good female character in the show. I’ve come to realize that it’s important for me given the amount of television the girls watch. They actually don’t watch very much, so shouldn’t the stuff they DO watch have at least a minute amount of redeeming quality? I’m not saying that everything they should be watching needs to be educational, but still.

I’m savvy enough to disregard Rachel’s self-centred quest for fame, Santana’s spite and cruelty, and Quinn’s popularity issues (where is her baby anyway?) but are my daughters? And I know that my kids hear a lot of crap in the schoolyard, but the language that comes out of Glee character’s mouths makes me cringe.

I know it’s all in the name of “edgy comedy,” but I can’t imagine telling my kids that it’s supposed to be funny when Sue Sylvester (whom I ADORE by the way) shoves a teacher down the staircase because her goal is always to win. Even though the writers occasionally hint at her having a heart (I love it when we meet her sister), she’s a bully, plain and simple. Why is it forgiven, time and time again?

I’m fully aware that the girls will probably end up watching Glee at someone else’s house, so I hope that we’ve given them enough information to be able to break everything down for themselves (and come to us instead of their friends) if they have questions.

If Glee is on in two years (and I doubt it will be) I might consider letting my kids watch it, but not now.  What do you think? I’d love to hear someone else’s perspective on this.

If you’re a parent who isn’t sure whether a particular movie, video game or TV program is appropriate for kids you should check out Common Sense Media. Here’s what they have to say about Glee. Do you agree with their assessment? Disagree?


31 Responses to "Is Glee appropriate for kids?"

1 | MaureenCmodecor

March 12th, 2011 at 10:18 am

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Excellent points. I had not thought to entertain your perspective as my girls are adults and we enjoy watching together…at times. However, last weeks’s episode actually made me cringe a bit and I who have been a HUGE fan, was actually turned off. I too am lost at the direction the show is taking. Still love the musical numbers, but not getting the storyline(s).

2 | Chantal

March 12th, 2011 at 10:38 am

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I’m a huge Glee fan. Traveled to NYC to see them live and adored every minute!

At first I let all four kids watch it. (The kids are age 8 through 14). Gradually, I had to insist the 8 and 9 year old not watch – and this week for the first time, I was uncomfortable watching some parts of it with my 12 and 14 year old. I had a bunch of explaining to do.

I don’t mind watching TV that provokes any conversation with my kids. I’m always honest and candid, but it went beyond this week. It was more of a deprogram.

Besides being puzzled by the dropped story lines, I am puzzled at the direction they are taking. At first it seemed the Glee club was about individuality and embracing how different they were. Now it seems like they’re doing anything to fit in and shock.

3 | betsy mae

March 12th, 2011 at 10:49 am

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My kids are def too young for the show although my 7 (nearly 8 year old) does have friends who watch it..I disagree with this. I don’t know if I’d let a 10 year old watch it but I’d have a difficult time trying to decide whether or not to let a 12 year old watch it. I think alot of the age appropriate shows have bullies similar to Sue so I wouldn’t necessarily take issue with her character, and most of the topics I would be okaaaaaay with for a 12 year old but its just a bit too much I think. Too much focus on sex etc. I guess what I’m trying to say is, there isn’t much more to the show than singing and the other negative stuff. I haven’t seen any positive messages yet have you? You could youtube the parts where the cast is singing and dancing (although I wish they would PLEASE let us see some the dancing my goodness they cut out so often its frustrating!). If you youtubed the singing your girls would get to see the best aspects of the show and they could see enough that they wouldn’t feel they were missing out?

4 | Lara

March 12th, 2011 at 10:53 am

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My kids are obviously too young to watch so I don’t have to deal with this, BUT! When I watched the last two weeks I thought a lot of the content seemed inappropriate for the TEENS I know who are watching, let alone the preteens.
I’m glad I don’t have to have the argument yet, but I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be letting them watch…

5 | betsy mae

March 12th, 2011 at 11:03 am

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Hmmm. I haven’t seen the last two weeks yet, maybe I need to catch up tonight.

6 | andrea

March 12th, 2011 at 11:38 am

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Thank you for your thoughtful comments so far. Chantal, I really appreciate your comment. I know you’re a big Gleek and wondered how you handled it with your lovely girls.

Myself, I think that tween girls are smart as they are impressionable. They’re still trying to figure out who they are and what kind of person they want to be. And I don’t think Glee fits into it.

7 | Emma @ embracethechaos.ca

March 12th, 2011 at 11:45 am

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Finally someone agrees with me! My 11-year old says all his friends watch Glee and keeps asking me to watch it. Even my mother says I should let him, but I don’t think the storylines will “go over his head” as everyone keeps telling me. While I think the messages of tolerance and fitting in are valuable the means are not appropriate. We will stick to American Idol for as long as I can.
What are your thoughts on Modern Family. He says everyone also watches that??
I never thought I would be the parent that denies pop culture to my kid!

8 | Karen at Virtually There

March 12th, 2011 at 11:58 am

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I’m in full agreement with you. It doesn’t seem to e a show intended for kids. The subwject matter is mature and many of the characters never redeem themselves. I still love it but the only exposure my kids get is through the CDs.

9 | Karen

March 12th, 2011 at 12:28 pm

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I totally understand and appreciate all the other comments We allow our 13 and 14 year old girls to watch the show. My 13 year old looks forward to watching it with me each week. We talk about the issues that are discussed (did anyone think the whole alcohol episode showed the negative effects? What about Kurt and his Dad having the uncomfortable sex talk? Talking about vulnerability and respect for yourself as well as providing information. I hope for talks like that!). Mostly we are watching it for the musical numbers and dancing though :)

I’m not keen on all the celebrity guests – once in a while, okay, but not at every turn!

I like how they show the other side of characters (Santana’s vulnerable side and her being in love with Brittany not just her mean side, Sue Sylvestor and her sister etc.) and how when they are evil, it’s so exaggerated and not realistic.

Anyway, I do squirm a bit when we watch the show, but I’d rather watch it WITH them and then have a starting off point on the big topics with a common point of reference.

10 | Karen

March 12th, 2011 at 12:58 pm

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I’m curious as to whether the people that have a “No Glee Rule” had a discussion first, hearing the views about why the kids want to watch it (just because other people watch it hopefully wouldn’t be the only reason) and then sharing your concerns and then making your decision for your family.

We have friends that said no way to Glee and found that it just encouraged their kids to seek out other places to watch it.

11 | LO

March 12th, 2011 at 12:59 pm

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I am never ‘surprised’ at what others let their kids do. I just don’t have time to be surprised all the time:):):)

That being said, I was a late bloomer regarding Glee and caught up on the first season late and was hooked. I LOVE Sue-she’s therapy for sure:) But am not impressed this season at all and don’t watch and don’t think it will last. My 10 yr old daughter doesn’t watch it anymore either.

I try not to censor too much (being a writer and all) but I think you touched upon some good points and I think tv provokes talking about things before the timing is right and that’s where I draw the line.

Waiting for the blog post on music and lyrics:)

12 | Nat

March 12th, 2011 at 1:10 pm

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I gave up on Glee when I realized that I just didn’t care what happens to these people. The music wasn’t even all that good anymore. Nothing to do with issues, I just think the show has lost it.

But yes, I have let The Boy, 10, watch it, but we are permissive parents who allow and entertain all sorts of discussions and forms of entertainment. (Thank you Dragon’s Den for the talk about flavored condoms.) But I let him watch (with us) Torchwood, Being Human (UK) and any number of TV shows that I’m sure would have you calling CAS on us. It’s about context, and being willing to explaining right from wrong, and a few sexual things. Better he hear from us than he get it off the internet or the kids in the schoolyard. I’ve realized that we’re WAY more embarassed about it than he is.

As for bullies, I’m pretty sure 90 per cent of kids show have them. (Sam on iCarly for instance does Sue Sylverster nasty things.) Kids aren’t dumb. They know right from wrong, they have a better idea what a bully is than we did at that age.

“even what it means to be homosexual” — this line made me guffaw. What is this 1950?… I know you didn’t mean it that way… but. hahahaha….

Yeah. Opposite end of the spectrum.

13 | Scatteredmom

March 12th, 2011 at 1:16 pm

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Glee has been a show that I’ve occasionally watched-and I had thought that it was more kid friendly than it has been the last couple of weeks, so the story lines did surprise me a little.

Now-for young kids? No. I don’t think so. But as kids get older, I don’t think that parents realize what they hear/see at school. I work in a high school with 12-16 year olds, and yes, they are talking about sex tapes, drinking, drugs, and sex. Most of them are horribly mis-iformed. They don’t want to talk to their parents because they say it’s awkward. Many have asked me, a staff member, lots of questions. The talk between Kurt and his Dad was a part that I thought was particularly moving because kids WANT that talk, but they don’t know how to ask their parents. I think Glee would be a great springboard for kids in grades 8 and up to have those types of discussions. They are already concerned about fitting in, body image, homosexuality, dating, sex, drugs, etc.

I was a kid who wasn’t allowed to watch anything over a PG rating, even when I was 18. As a result, I lied and watched anything and everything when my parents weren’t home or I was out babysitting. My parents never talked to me about any of those things except to tell me that I would never do it, and if I did, the consequences would be DIRE.

My approach with my teenager is different-we watch shows together and have a lot of straight discussion about them. All his friends/peers watch Family Guy, Trailer Park Boys, and South Park and those three are the only shows not allowed in my home because of the racism, discrimination, and disrespect for the law that they portray as a joke. I know many kids his age who take the ‘jokes’ and use them to bully other kids, or see them as values worth taking on. (which HORRIFIES ME)

I’d take Glee over any of those three any day, but I think the bottom line is you have to make the decision for what is right for your family. Kevin and I have discussed the three ‘banned’ shows, and when I explained why I find them so awful and that they go against every value that his Dad and I stand for, he agreed. Even saying no to it is another door for discussion.

14 | binki

March 12th, 2011 at 1:50 pm

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Our kids (6 and 9) watch nothing on TV, except for TFO and videos that are age appropriate. I suppose at some point we’ll have to open up the floodgates of “after supper” TV. I’m not looking forward to it.

Common Sense Media is amazing! Thanks.
http://www.commonsensemedia.org/

15 | Edumama

March 12th, 2011 at 3:30 pm

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Tough decision.

My kids are too young, but working in a middle school and high school, I know that many of the students do watch the show and I hope many parents are watching the show with their kids and using those opportunities to talk about the issues in the show. The teachers are also watching, it seems. Besides the music, dancing and fact that glee clubs have become cool in our schools- (something I wish was true when I was in high school)- I really like how this is one of the first shows I’ve heard my students talk about that have positive gay characters. I loved Kurt’s talk with his dad (and their whole relationship) and think it is nice to actually have someone talking about what it is like to question their sexuality in high school.
Certainly, the show is not perfect and I have to admit, I was quite upset about the alcohol episode- there was an opportunity to really address the consequences, but in my opinion- it really glorified drinking, peer pressure and coolness- isn’t that where Rachel got her song writing inspiration in the end?

In the end, I think I would let my kids once they hit middle school watch Glee WITH me- and take the time to find out what they think is happening and my perspective. I think they have a lot of access to things a lot worse (youtube!) when I am not around- so I hope they would at least get my perspective. Interestingly, many of the students I’ve spoken to have moved on from Glee and find it boring; I’m still a fan, though.

16 | Chantal

March 12th, 2011 at 3:48 pm

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“Myself, I think that tween girls are smart as they are impressionable. They’re still trying to figure out who they are and what kind of person they want to be. And I don’t think Glee fits into it.”

Andrea, I love this!

I’m old enough to recognize that part of prime time TV is shock value. I can process what I see and recognize it as such. Until my children can do that for themselves, it’s my responsibility to do it for them. No matter what “Awwww Mommy!” I get, it’s job number one right now.

At one time, Glee was a delightful musical about teen individuality. Now, it’s a show that I still love, but I’ll be PVRing and previewing for my kids.

Cause the music? It still rocks!

17 | andrea

March 12th, 2011 at 4:25 pm

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The music is great. At this point it’s probably the only reason I’m still tuning in every week.

I can totally understand that Glee might be a good starting point for those big conversations between teens and their parents, but it’s a different ball of wax for younger kids. Omg, it would take me three hours to get through one episode with the girls, and it would end up being one giant lecture. :)

I also liked the latest storyline with Kurt and his dad. It was lovely and sensitive. (Why isn’t there more of that?) That being said, I don’t need a tv show in order to talk to my kids about sex, drugs, alcohol, bullying etc. Those conversations should be happening anyway, regardless of what they’re watching.

p.s. good point about watching the musical clips on YouTube! I might look into that.

18 | andrea

March 12th, 2011 at 4:34 pm

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And yes, we had a conversation with the girls about why they’re not allowed to watch it. Honestly, I can’t remember what we said, but it comes down to the fact that we’re trying hard to raise a pair of healthy girls and we simply feel they are too young for the mature themes that Glee encompasses.

And although this might send them to a friend’s house to watch it on the sly, it’s not something I’m very worried about. If they do that, fine. We will all survive! But at this stage in our lives I can’t recommend Glee – or condone it – as a healthy viewing choice for our girls. (Just like we don’t let them watch CSI. Life is violent and mean and crappy and shocking and cruel enough as it is. Do they need to see more? And to call it entertainment?)

19 | John Waite

March 12th, 2011 at 5:10 pm

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I find it interesting that many of the comments talk about using Glee to talk about sex, alcohol, and drug use in teens. While this is fine and dandy, I think that the discussion needs to happen before kids get this old.

There are many ways to discuss these things with kids in age-appropriate settings without having them experience it all themselves. Kids are kids, and I for one am up for keeping their home life as child-friendly as possible.

That isn’t to say that I would want to act like there aren’t problems with teen pregnancy, drugs, and alcohol abuse. Kids know about this stuff because of the world they live in at school. Teens know when you are bluffing, and when they call your bluff, they stop coming to you because they chalk it up to ruining their life or babying them.

While I like the music, I don’t like the messages this show sends to teens. If I feel uncomfortable watching parts of the show by myself, why would I think that a kid wouldn’t?

20 | coffee with julie

March 12th, 2011 at 7:36 pm

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I can’t help but still love Glee, despite the dropped story lines and all. But for my kids? No thanks for me to having to explain three-somes, vengence sex, and drunk-dialing!

21 | Meghan

March 12th, 2011 at 8:32 pm

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I watch Glee and do let my almost 10 and almost 12 year old watch as well. Yes some is inappropriate BUT I do think it is a starting point for many conversations and a lot does go right over their heads.

We recently watched the old Degrassi shows – now those were also inappropriate – but boy did I learn a lot watching Degrassi when I was a kid!

I think the Kurt talk with his dad and the emerging lesbian Santana story line as well as the cool Sue stuff overrides all the other stuff.

Guess I just like hanging out with my kids and watching a show we all like.

22 | Nadine

March 12th, 2011 at 11:57 pm

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I have never watched an entire Glee episode but I am certain that I would enjoy it as I am of the “Fame” generation. My daughter barely watches tv, partly because she has a lot of dance classes and rehearsals and partly because she would rather read or draw when she is home, than have to put up with the tv commercials popping up every 5 minutes ! She does love to watch the Cake Boss though and maybe SYTYCD or Idol shows once in a while and she did say that many of the Grade 5 kids in her class do watch GLEE.

I do think that from what I’ve heard, Glee is a little too inappropriate for a 10 year old . But I can see how 13 and 14 year olds would definitely be able to handle some of the shows content .
Having said that, I do remember watching Grease way back when I was only 11 or 12 and really enjoying the dance and the music and not paying any attention to the sexual refrences (and we all know how most of the storyline in that movie was !). I guess every parents have their own comfort level when it comes to certain more mature topics as well as the dialogue in a show. But I’m certain that if a 10 or 11 year old has a desire to watch Glee it probably has more to do with the music and choreography than with the sexuality displayed in that show.
I’m just relieved that my daughter has a thing for cake decorating at the moment and that her favorite opening phrase is “They call me buddy and I’m the Boss!”. I’ll have to wait another year or two and see what happens then…

23 | Sam

March 13th, 2011 at 8:50 am

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I don’t let my 9 yo daughter watch it. She tells me that ‘most’ of the kids in her class are allowed. The 800pm start time is considered primetime for family viewing though.

Tough call with most things for this age group. What is inappropriate for one family may be considered appropriate for another! Case in point, was at the Lady Gaga concert last week and did NOT bring my daughter because I felt her act to be a bit too risque for her. There were kids younger than her there though. 5 & 6 yr olds?!! Trying not to judge…

Funny story re judging: A ‘friend’ of mine and I were chatting about this very topic and I mentioned to her the age of some of the kids at the Gaga concert. She then said, “well, imagine the kind of mother who will be taking her daughter to Katie Perry this July! My daughter chimed in, “I’m going!” You should have seen her face!!!! LOL Guess I’m a bad mother!!! :)

24 | Charlene

March 13th, 2011 at 10:04 am

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Always being fashionably late to a party, I only started watching Glee this year. I can’t comment on the decline of storylines but I can comment on what I’ve seen. It’s edgy, well written and funny.The musical numbers are campy and it entertains me.
Would I let my almost 12 year old son watch it? Not yet for him. We too have a home where everything is discussed openly, sex, homosexuality,drinking,drug use. Frankly I find Glee glorifies it. Watching it with him right now would involve an hour of post-show debrief.
The only point I would disagree with most of the previous posters is that I strongly feel the shows messenging is just as impactful on tween-boys as tween-girls.

25 | Maranda

March 13th, 2011 at 11:32 am

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When selecting what shows my kids watch, my question is always “why SHOULD they watch it?” not “why not?”. my kids also don’t watch a lot of tv, and there are so many good shows out there it’s easy to find something they like where I don’t have to explain teachers selling dope to students or why you’d want to “think of the mail”.

We don’t have cable so i don’t know what time the show is on (i watch it via iTunes) but i can’t imagine it’s on at a time that’s suitable for kids anyway…?… My older kids go to bed at 8 during the week and it’s an hour long show, so they’d never see it on cable anyway.

26 | Lynn

March 13th, 2011 at 2:20 pm

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Luckily our kids are still way too young to be contenders for Glee or any other prime time show. The question of what’s appropriate viewing is always there, though. Most of the other kids in my seven-year-old’s class have seen movies like Spider-Man, Iron Man, and Transformers, but we’ve been holding off on stuff like that. He doesn’t even watch Spongebob, but I know we’re way in the minority.

I once worked with a guy who let his three year old daughter watch Survivor with him. He said that his theory was that anything he could watch, she could watch too, as long as they talked about it. I like what the other commenters here have said about using TV shows that they watch together as jumping off points for talking about issues with their own kids, but there’s a limit – three is definitely too young! I think your 12 year old is possibly approaching Glee age but younger than that, I’d have a problem with it.

Do you find that Sarah gets to watch stuff earlier than Emma because once Emma is allowed, it’s hard to keep Sarah away? Our own three year old watches all kinds of stuff we never would have let our seven year old watch – just because she is in the room when her older brother and sister are watching something. So I guess it kind of depends on their birth order!

27 | Mary @ Parenthood

March 13th, 2011 at 4:07 pm

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I have never seen Glee so can’t comment specifically. And my two year hadn’t really seen any TV yet aside from the odd video clip at the various museums, one or two home videos of herself and her cousins and a couple of YouTube clips (The Elephant song!)

Probably I would hesitate to let her watch even as a preteen, based on parenting choices we’ve made so far. BUT when I was a kid, my parents did let us watch Allo Allo (British sitcom). I remembered it being funny. Rewatching as an adult was very surprising. Lots of then shocking themes and innuendo that I completely missed as a child (so innocent). So depending on the kind of child she becomes and also how the show is done I might not worry about letting my child watch just because of that experience.

28 | andrea

March 14th, 2011 at 9:48 am

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This comment was emailed to my by Lou who asked for it to be posted here:

“My kids are too young for Glee – 7 and 4 – but your thread reminded me of an incident when the eldest was 3. She came home from day care singing “Bad boy, bad boy, whatcha gonna do when they come for you!” Blissfully ignorant, I couldn’t figure out where the tune came from, so I asked her caregiver the next day. She turned scarlet and confessed: “Different families have different ideas of what’s appropriate TV for their kids. The dad of one of the little boys lets him watch the reality show COPS. It has become an issue and we’re so sorry, and we’re working on it.”

OMG. That explained a lot – for example, how that particular child was often lining up the others against the wall to be frisked, and leading them in putting each other in “jail” (under the art table). The kicker? The boy’s mother is an ECE-trained day care worker!

So – a very early lesson that when it comes to TV, I don’t care very much what other families are doing. If it doesn’t work for us, it’s not going to be seen. My daughter found Toy Story too scarey (the first one), so I know she’s not ready for much of what her peers watch, and I talk that out with her.

We talk about everything as it comes up – sexuality, race, nothing is out of bounds, all discussed matter-of-factly (no matter how much I may be freaking inside when my daughter looks up from the newspaper and says “what does ‘fondling’ mean?”). I have a feeling my kids are going to be the ones telling the other kids what sex really is!”

29 | Lana

March 16th, 2011 at 2:26 pm

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I remember being allowed to watch Three’s Company and Degrassi when I was probably “too young” for them. Maybe I’ll have a different opinion when Alden is older and watching these shows, but at least it’s not as bad as the music I just heard driving to the grocery store on 89.9. Yes, I am now officially old and complaining about kids and their music!

30 | Natasha

March 21st, 2011 at 1:25 pm

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Great Post! I don’t think Glee is appropriate for kids, there are too many controversial story lines. I am amazed at the story lines they come up with knowing that they do have younger viewers but I still love it.

31 | Marie

March 21st, 2011 at 3:17 pm

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What makes me cringe is parents who refuse to face reality. Yes GLEE is definetly riské, but that’s 2011 folks. I love the show and watch it with my 11 year old son. I talk him throuhg it and explain what is real, what is down right silly and when someone makes a good point. After all it’s tv!. Sugar coating doesn’t sell commercials. GLEE provides and excellent outlet that provokes conversation…and provoke is the word. Don’t ignore it – talk about it.

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