a peek inside the fishbowl

23 Feb, 2011

Stealth poetry project: Fred, the Vegetarian Vampire

Posted by andrea tomkins in: - Stealth poetry

Remember our Stealth poetry project (first written about here) … in which I fastened a poem to the back of our front door in an effort to keep poetry alive in our hearts and minds?

Well, I have a new one to share with you today.

Emma actually reminded me of this poem and asked me to dig it out. I’ve printed it out and I’m pinning it to the back of our door, even though it’s unfinished. The girls think it’s hilarious.

FYI, I wrote it in high school! Read it out loud for maximum effect. :)

Fred, the Vegetarian Vampire

In a dark little kitchen, in the midst of the meal,
Someone began to cry and to squeal.
It was Fred. No doubt.
And everyone knew what the fuss was about.

Fred refused to eat his dinner,
His mother was afraid that he’d keep getting thinner!
As he pounded the table with his little vampire fork,
He shouted “You CANNOT make me eat this pork!”

(You see my friends, I am here to say,
modern vampires are different today.
Taking people’s blood is against the law,
so most will just eat all their meat quite raw.)

“If you don’t finish what’s on your plate,”
Said Father vampire quite irate.
“You will be punished, and you know what I mean,
So don’t move a muscle until your plate’s clean!”

Poor Fred just sat there, very still in his seat.
Watching his tears marinade the meat.
He sat there for one hour, two, three and four,
Until the sun rose from beyond the front door.

Mother tucked all the children in bed,
And then went to the kitchen to check on young Fred.
His vampire face was full of despair,
“Oh mommy, oh mommy it just isn’t fair!”

Mother gave up and took away his plate,
and from that day on, Fred chose what he ate.
Broccoli, spinach, lentils and cheese,
he ate it all up, as quick as you please.

-

(I am missing a satisfactory ending. Your poetic suggestions are welcome!)


4 Responses to "Stealth poetry project: Fred, the Vegetarian Vampire"

1 | Natalie

February 23rd, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Avatar

Proving that vegetarian vampires do exist
What a twist!
“Who knew vegetables could be so hip?”
Came Fred’s excited quip.

2 | Sheila D.

February 23rd, 2011 at 11:18 pm

Avatar

Well, you gave me a smile today. Thanks!

3 | Amy

February 26th, 2011 at 7:50 pm

Avatar

I think its perfect just the way it is!

4 | andrea

February 28th, 2011 at 8:52 am

Avatar

Thanks guys! I do like this poem. I’m glad I held on to it. :)

comment form:

Patronatus

NAC Ottawa family events


Saunders Farm annual passes for family fun!


Mrs Tiggywinkle's - the best toy store in Ottawa


Joan of Arc Academy in Ottawa


OMS Ottawa Montessori schools


Sara McConnell photography Ottawa


Rethink Tires - Community Renewal Fund


terra20 Ottawa


Click me!


Archives

Stay in touch



Me and my pet projects

Ottawa Bucket list

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.


  • KL: Oh the PlanetBox it's so lovely. One piece no little parts to search for. Amazing.
  • Kat: The smart, functional and eco friendly PlanetBox!!
  • Cath: The Divided Dishes Bentology Flower Bundle is super cute. Do they have anything that guarantees the contents get eaten?! Great giveaway!
  • Marni: Would love to invest in the stainless steel snack trio. Also love the reusable snack bags and have bought them for gifts!
  • Laurel: Love that you went to Kingston! Wish I had known you were going during your reseach phase as I would have sent you a few more tips of things to put on
  • Carlene Heathorn: I can't decide between the red beet lunch bag or the stainless steel containers.....and is it terrible that I would use them for my lunch and not my k
  • Stephanie: I would like to stock up on some stainless steel containers!

The Obligatory Blurb

My name is Andrea and I live in the Westboro area of Ottawa with my husband Mark and our two daughters Emma (16) and Sarah (14). I am the managing editor of our community newspaper, the Kitchissippi Times, and a regular contributor to MediaSmarts.ca. I am a longtime Ottawa blogger, and I've occupied this little corner of the WWW since 1999... which makes me either a total dinosaur or a veteran, I'm not sure which! The Fishbowl is my whiteboard, water cooler, and journal, all rolled into one. I'm passionate about healthy living, arts and culture, family travel, great gear, good food, and sharing the best of Ottawa for families. I also love vegetables, photography, gadgets, and great design.

If you'd like to contact me, please use this form. If you're so inclined, you can read more about me here. Thank you for visiting!

 


My right hand is actually a camera

Connect with me at these places too!

The #dailylunches project – 1000 lunches and counting

Every day I eat lunch and take a picture. Here's the latest:

Created with flickr badge.

Click the photo for details: what it is, where I ate it (if it's worth a mention!) and how to cook it (if there happens to be a recipe). You can also read more about this project right here.

Sideblog

On the nightstand

... check out past nightstand reads right here.

All hail the mighty Twitter