a peek inside the fishbowl

Our two daughters have been employed since they were 14 and I can’t begin to describe how positive of an experience it has been for them. It’s also been great for us, the parents. Their wages contribute quite a bit to our household. It’s not as if they’re handing over their wages, that’s not what I mean at all, but it means that we’re not forking over an allowance or doing all of the heavy lifting as it pertains to saving for their university educations.

As an added bonus working teens are, obviously, gainfully occupied. Besides the financial incentive, they’re gaining responsibility and very important life skills, not to mention, getting a head start on their resumes and university applications.

But what if teens can’t find work or are under-employed (in other words, not working full-time hours over the summer)? I would love to start a conversation here and generate some ideas for parents who are looking for an answer.

Under-employed teens can’t realistically spend the summer lounging around the house and/or watching Netflix and surfing their Instagram accounts. Downtime is important and everyone deserves a break over summer, but binge-watching Buffy for the third time is neither a healthy nor productive way of spending that downtime.

I was at an event a couple weeks ago and Alyson Shafer, a therapist, published author, and parenting expert mentioned the idea of summer goals. I really liked this idea. I want my teens to choose their own activities and goals because as we all know, if the parents choose for them it’s doomed to fail.

So what can a teenager do over the summer? And how can we make this seem like it’s their idea? ;)

• Double-check their mandated volunteer hours and get ’em done.
• … or volunteer for a cause they are passionate about.
• They can teach themselves something new based on existing interests. It could be a new sport, cooking, sewing, drawing, ukulele, coding, animation, skateboarding. Anything!
• They can focus on getting active: download an app and undertake Couch-to-5K training, spend an hour walking with a new podcast every day, meet up with a friend to play tennis, do laps at the pool, sign up for yoga classes. How much can be accomplished in one hour every day? (Answer, more than you think.)
• They can start a side gig: dog walking/pet care, child care, lawn and yard maintenance, making jewelry, reselling vintage clothes. There are so many cool things they can do to earn a few extra bucks.
• Read! I don’t know if teens are reading enough, are they? I use Goodreads to track my reading and I have a yearly goal. It’s fun to challenge my friends and it gives me the added motivation to keep reading.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this issue. Are your teens busy this summer? What are they up to? Do you plan their busyness or do they? Or maybe your kids aren’t quite teens yet but you already have ideas. If so, I’d love to hear them.

How was your Canada Day? Ours was low-key, to say the least. We spent the afternoon lounging around my inlaws swimming pool and trying to stay hydrated. By the time the evening rolled around and we were home again we were too hot and tired to eat the BBQ dinner I had planned.

The heat wave put a bit of a damper on things on July 1. I just couldn’t bear the idea of going downtown to watch the fireworks even though it’s been a family tradition here at Casa Fishbowl ever since I can remember. I was the one who suggested we stay home, yet I think I am the saddest about not going.

I like the fireworks, but Canada Day fireworks, for me, is about more than just watching colourful explosions in the sky. I find the unity of it all very moving. The fireworks begin and the chattering crowd is silenced. There we all are, gathered in a crowd, with our faces lifted to the night sky, watching the same thing and feeling the same thing. It’s remarkable, really. The people here are young and old, rich and poor, new Canadians and longtime residents. For some, it’s their first time experiencing it, for others, it’s old hat but somehow made new every year. Somehow, people from all points along the political, religious, and economic spectrum share the same moment in time in pretty much the same way: with wonder, and joy in their hearts. Maybe because, for a short time, we are transported back to our childhoods. We ooh and ahh and elbow our friend or family member and say DID YOU SEE THAT and then look back up to see another burst that is somehow bigger, louder, more beautiful than the one that preceded it. How do they do that, anyway?

Too soon, there is one last hurrah and then it’s over. The black sky is grey with smoke. There’s applause; sometimes a spontaneous singalong of the national anthem. The crowd, which a moment before was a single unit, starts to dilute and separate. The shared moment is over, and I wonder, when will we all come together again?

Take 20 minutes and watch this if you need a smile today >> https://t.co/sd5Px2YbVv

— andrea tomkins (@missfish) June 22, 2018

• We Have Reached Peak Screen. Now Revolution Is in the Air, nytimes.com
• Where a Taboo Is Leading to the Deaths of Young Girls, nytimes.com
• Tess Holliday’s Health Is None of Your Business, self.com
• How to survive the teenage years: a parents’ guide, theguardian.com
• How can I convince my daughter to hang curtains in her street-facing window?, theglobeandmail.com
• 17 real-life would you rathers, I, a woman, have had to ask myself, mcsweeneys.net

On the nightstand: The Romantic, by Barbara Gowdy