I keep a small spritzer of extremely concentrated vanilla spray in my purse. It’s from a Body Shop gift package that was given to me long ago. It’s too strong to use as a body spray, so I keep it for various smell emergencies that arise from time to time.
The unfortunate reality is that it doesn’t actually work that well. Because this is what happens: concentrated vanilla + X-smell = VanillaXXsmell. It just masks the smell. It doesn’t attack/neutralize and/or destroy the smell molecules.
Sometimes I spritz the offending air and a mist of vanilla lands on me. It’s not a subtle scent. In fact, it leaves me reeking like a refugee from a candy factory.
What kind of smell emergencies am I referring to? You only need to use your imagination, but I will tell you that the last time I had to pull out the spritzer was at Value Village.
As I browsed the aisles I was assaulted by a terrible smell. It caught my nasal passages sharply, like a fishhook. Looking around, I noticed waves of smell emanating from a particular individual, who was also shopping.
This is a rather uncouth thing to write about, isn’t it?
This person’s B.O. was unbearable. I had to completely avoid her.
Fast forward about ½ hour. I had a cart full of clothes and was waiting for a fitting room to become available. Finally, a door opened. To my unpleasant surprise it was the source of the B.O that I had been trying so hard to avoid.
I went into the fitting room and promptly spun around and beat a hasty retreat. I browsed the nearby aisle for a few minutes hoping the cloud would dissipate, or more hopefully, that another room would be liberated.
No such luck.
I closed the door on myself, and dug around in my purse for what had become the device that would save my sense of smell, knowing full well that the only thing that was REALLY going to help was to have my nose surgically removed from the premises.
I held the spritzer over my head and gave it two shots. TWO, it required TWO shots. Normally one would be enough, but I thought that anything less than double-strength wouldn’t have any effect. Tiny enclosed area + big smell = big big unpleasantness.
I moved back against the fitting room door and watched as the vanilla mist floated downward.
Concentrated vanilla + B.O smell = Vanilla B.O smell
But at least the room was a notch better than when I found it. After I was done I emerged smelling strongly of vanilla. As I crossed the threshold on my way out I wondered if anyone saw me leave, and what they would think when they were confronted with the bad smelling equation in the fitting room.
