a peek inside the fishbowl

Let’s say, hypothetically, you are a hypothetical parent visiting a hypothetical school during a hypothetical choir performance. One of the songs that is sung, hypothetically of course, is Purple People Eater, a classic tune released in the late 1950’s and performed by Sheb Wooley. (Which, as an interesting aside, reached #1 in the Billboard charts in 1958.)

Hypothetically, you enjoyed this song as a child. It was part of your childhood culture. You had the album (“Nutty Numbers” by K-Tel), and listened to it many times over and knew all the words. Imagine how surprising it would be, if, hypothetically, on the day it was performed by a large group of kids you heard the word “CHIQUITA” substituted at the end of the song, rather than what it was supposed to be: “TEQUILA.”

And, as the hypothetical parent (okay, I’m dropping this right now) you asked the child (who knows what the proper word is supposed to be because she has your Nutty Numbers LP) WHY this word was substituted. The child responds with a shrug. She doesn’t know, the teacher just said it was to be so.

Is the world we live in so politically correct that school children aren’t allowed to utter the name of an alcoholic beverage in the lyrics of a 1950s novelty song? I can’t imagine what precipitated the decision to edit that word out. Was someone really and truly afraid that by singing the word “TEQUILA” the school would appear to glamourize alcohol consumption? Or was someone worried that it would be the trigger that caused 150 children to rush out and raid their parent’s liquor cabinets?

Who decides which words should be edited out of novelty songs and which shouldn’t? Should the school have also bleeped out the reference to “short shorts” in that song as well, because as we all know short shorts are not just the domain of the very vain, but unsavoury types (like PROSTITUTES) as well! Will the mention of “people-eating” encourage children to cannibalize? How about “bless my soul,” is it mocking religion? What about the phrase “pigeon-toed”… it may offend bird lovers AND people who are actually pigeon-toed!

I feel sad that the school system might be responsible for churning out droves of hypersensitive students who might grow up to write nasty blog posts complaining about how terrible it is that WalMart greeters wish them a Merry Christmas.

Mind, I’m not angry about this issue. I’m really not. I don’t want my post to be misunderstood… my posting about this today is merely the verbal equivalent of an eyeball-rolling. I’m not waging a battle, I just want to open up a discussion on this topic.

What do you think? If the schoolchildren had shouted “TEQUILA” at the end of the song would there be a whole lot more annoyed parents out there this morning?

Would you be?

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

It’s Monday. I’m feeling slightly off-kilter, and I just uploaded a photo that is (still) totally grossing me out.

My point: when you’re sick of changing diapers, wiping bums and crusty faces, changing sopping wet bedsheets, using those nose aspirators things to suck the snot out of your baby’s nose etc etc … just remember, you’re not the only creature in the animal kingdom who is going to great lengths to keep your babies clean and poop-free.

Some parents are doing even MORE THAN YOU ARE. Don’t believe me? Check it out. (You may have to mouse over the photo to see the notes.)

Looks pretty, but it’s all impossibly out of control.

 

 

It’s WALL TO WALL flora out there.

Sometimes I wish I had a backhoe. Other times, a tall glass of lemonade and a lounge chair.