a peek inside the fishbowl

Yesterday was my day off. Remember Andrea’s Tuesdays? But once again, instead of getting out and actually Doing Something I just stayed home and moped around for most of the day. I hate wasting a day. I hate this. I hate the feeling of lost mojo so much.

My solution to this is to force myself to do SOMETHING. Part of that something is to focus on routines I know will make me feel better. When I feel adrift, I need to tie myself to something. Call it preventive medicine. I had charged up my Litebook so I blasted myself with 30 minutes of light, did a short stint on the treadmill at a brisk pace, took a shower, took my vitamins, ate a good breakfast, and got dressed. I also spent a couple of hours on my Shopping Embargo ebook. I have had mixed feelings here. I’ve alternated between feelings of shiny confidence (“I CAN TOTALLY DO THIS.”) and debilitating feelings of utter failure and giveupatude (“I TOTALLY SUCK.”). Perhaps this is a post for another day. Sigh.

After staring at my own words for so long that my eyes started to water, I picked myself and walked to the library to return some books; a 5K round trip. I took deep breaths, tried to enjoyed the scenery, and spent some time alone with my own thoughts. The internal dialogue with myself went something like this:

What is wrong with you today, Andrea? Why do you feel so cruddy?
I don’t know.
Well, what would make you feel better?
I don’t know. A bag of chips?
Well, that’s not going to happen. Seriously, what would make you feel better?
I have no idea.
Well, if you don’t know. You’re just going to have to ride this wave out.

And that’s when I remembered that I don’t have to feel sad and guilty about this lost day. I know it will pass. I can just accept the dip in my hormone levels or whatever it is, and RIDE IT OUT without all the boo-hooing. So I pictured myself on an inflatable raft on a lake, with the sun beating down on me, my fingers dangling in the water,  floating along with the tide instead of fighting against it and exhausting myself in the process.

I marched on. On the way home I spotted a flu shot sign in the window of our neighbourhood Shoppers Drug Mart and so I popped in and let the pharmacist poke me in the arm. At least I can say I did this, right? I got a lollypop too. At least there was that.

An Ex-Google Engineer Just Reinvented the Measuring Cup — https://t.co/rmGqK7IG7U pic.twitter.com/SYM7yc8WaK

— Mental Floss (@mental_floss) October 22, 2017

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• A twitter thread of spooky plants and fungii, twitter.com/Cat_Whitney

On the nightstand: At Home: A Short History of Private Life

Sometimes it helps to focus on good things in our lives. This is especially true when the world seems more than a little crazy. So with that in mind, here’s a short list of things that are making me happy right now.

My chives:

Chives are a vastly underrated herb, as far as herbs go. They are forgiving, practically indestructible, and come back every year. PLUS, they’re great on eggs, and anything else that requires a mild boost of oniony goodness. We have a decent-sized clump in our backyard so I thought it might be a good idea to shave off a small part of it and move it indoors for the winter so I can have a FRESH HARVEST OF CHIVES all year long. They seem to be doing okay!

After-lunch walks with the dog:

I’m not always able to take Piper around the block for a stroll, but when I do, and when I am able to let go of how slow she can be sometimes (she’s a sniffer, this one) it’s quite nice. I get to stretch my legs and decompress and we both get fresh air in our snoots. It’s a win-win for all involved.

My new shoes:

I bought them at Ardene’s, which is the last place I generally look for shoes, but I was tagging along with one of the girls when I saw these PINK velvety ruffled slip-on shoes and I realized I just had to have them. The sad part of this story is that I had to buy those tiny sockettes to go with them and have already lost one somewhere between the bedroom and the laundry room. THEY ARE PRACTICALLY INVISIBLE. Oh well.

A new mini-library that is right down the street from our place:

I am VERY excited about this. Reading makes me very happy. (By the way, that Bill Bryson book is gone now. Sorry neighbours but I was there first.) Speaking of reading. Let’s connect on Goodreads! I’m tracking everything I read over there.

And this will sound very strange, but brushing my teeth has been making me happy lately:

I know. So weird, right? I had a bit of an epiphany. I started brushing my teeth after lunch with some toothpaste I picked up at terra20 awhile back. (Disclosure alert: terra20 is a longtime Fishbowl patron but hey, I like this toothpaste and it’s worth talking about!) I also bought a new toothbrush. I normally use an electric OralB that has a built-in, two-minute timer, but our hygienist recommended switching things up sometimes to reach spots that one misses as a result of deeply ingrained toothbrushing patterns. At first, I was only brushing after lunch when I remembered to so but before long I was doing it every day. And you know what? A switch flipped in my head. I stopped seeing toothbrushing as an annoying task we have to do twice a day and started seeing it as a treat. It’s a nice little break during the day. Just me and my nice toothbrush and toothpaste! It’s like a mini-meditation that ends with minty breath. What a luxury. I wonder, what else in my life could use a slight shift of perspective? Probably lots of things.

What is making YOU happy right now? I’d love to hear what’s on your list.

Edited to add: I meant to mention that I am enjoying your comments on this giveaway post. Another thing that makes me happy: promoting a great local business and hosting giveaways I know you will love. xo