a peek inside the fishbowl

The other day  I raved about the mentally unhealthy experience I had at our local portrait studio.

You were undoubtedly wondering why I put myself through that every year. You’re also probably wondering whether we opt in to the whole school photo thing or not. And the answer is yes, yes we do. I love school photos, even when they’re bad. Really. The lighting, the full-face pose, the cropping, it gives you a photo that you can compare to the last one, and the one before that. And when you see them all in a row you can see how a person changed and grew. I love it, and even though I know I can do the same thing here at home, this way I know it will be done.

I do have a petite beef with those photographers too. They work in digital now, so they aren’t limited to two poses. Why not just snap off three or four? If there was more to choose from I would be happier about shelling out the big bucks, you know what I mean?

I didn’t want to continue my rant about portraits today, but I did want to jot down a few words about the importance of having a stack of good photos.

I’ve been reading a book that has made me think a lot about my childhood. And you know what (and this is going to sound a little sad) but I don’t remember having much fun with my parents.

Oh sure, I have a few memories here and there. I was an only child. I had lots of little friends on my street. I remember playing with them a lot. We had wonderful freedoms, ones that few children had today. We biked far and wide, spent our allowances on Big League Chew and marshmallow strawberries, played tag and hide and seek – but I also remember spending a lot of time alone –  swinging on our tippy aluminum-framed swingset, climbing the cherry tree in the backyard, playing with my dolls, and listening to my records over and over again.

I remember going swimming with my parents, but my mother never wanted to get her hair wet. We all had cross-country skiis, and bikes, but I was the only one who seemed to want to use them.

I remember going on Sunday walks in the woods (accompanied by Charlie, our Airedale terrier), being dragged to the museum (which I hated), and to Czech dinner theatre (which, for the most part, I only enjoyed because of the singing and the fact that I could eat cake while watching a live show). 

Perhaps this is all selective memory. Perhaps I am misremembering. None of this has ever really occurred to me before, but this is where my mind is at today.

My father worked long hours. We lived in Bramalea (now Brampton), and he made the commute to downtown Toronto (Bathurst/Bloor area) every day. He’d come home after I had already gone to bed. My mother didn’t work, at least not when I was in elementary school. She was busy in the home. My father eventually quit his downtown job and opened his own stereo/TV sales/repair shop nearby. He worked six days a week, refusing to cave to Sunday shoppers, which was just beginning to be an issue.  Later, my mother helped my father balance the books.

Everyone was always busy. 

I have memories of begging my parents to play Trouble with me.  I remember once watching Sesame Street with my mother, and then turning around to talk to her about something funny that had happened but she’d left the room without saying anything.

Is this all true, or am I just misremembering?

The photographic evidence is rather spotty, one way or the other. There are a lot of photos of me as a cute 5, 6, 7 year old, but after awhile the photos peter out and there are fewer and fewer of me as I grow older. Perhaps this was a reflection of my parent’s failing marriage, because I hated having my picture taken (and still do) I don’t know. But what I do know is that it makes me feel, well, a little sad.

…

I think this is the root of why I think it’s important we photograph our children, especially when we’re doing fun things as a family. And more importantly, I think we need to show them those photos every once in awhile to remind them. We need talk about what we did together to keep it fresh in our minds:

Remember when we went to Hog’s Back Falls and saw the rainbow?
Remember when we fed the chickadees?
Remember when we went tobogganing and almost went as far as the creek?
Remember when we explored the cave?
Remember when we rented a paddle boat at Dow’s Lake and fed the ducks?
Remember when you swam in the ocean for the first time? Flew on an airplane? Held a firefly?

… What did you like best about it? And shall we do it all again?

Talking is one thing. The photos add to this, of course. As I sit here typing I am watching the screensaver on Mark’s computer. He’s got it set up to show random photos from our (ahem, very extensive) photo library. The memories, oh, the memories. They are so beautiful. Our little family has so much fun. I hope my children remember these happy times, how much I adore them, and how much fun we’ve all had together.

There’s an issue brewing here in my neighbourhood that’s really sticking in my craw. I haven’t written about it here, until now, but before I continue I want to clarify that my views are my own, and not those of my local community association of which I am a board member.

There’s a proposal on the table regarding the potential closure of a little piece of Golden Avenue. It’s one block connecting Byron Avenue and Richmond Road. Here’s a map of the area I’m talking about.

On the surface it all seems rather innocuous, and I suspect that’s part of the reason why the major media – the Citizen, the CBC – haven’t picked it up. But to me, it stinks, and we, as residents of this lovely neighbourhood, have a few reasons to pay attention to this issue as it unfolds.

There was a public consultation about the potential closure of Golden Avenue on December 5, hosted by our councillor, Christine Leadman. 

There was huge turnout, which surprised me since it was a cold and very snowy night and for many this is a very busy time of year. In fact, the room was packed. Actual estimates vary. Some say there were 200-300 people there, and that probably doesn’t include the number of people who were straining to hear from the hallway outside the room, left early, or just gave up and went back home when they saw they weren’t going to be able to get in.

I was a half-hour late, but I managed to squeeze in and get a decent view.

I learned that the proposal to close this little piece of Golden was brought forth by a small number (one? more?) residents of that street. They suggested it to Councillor Leadman as a traffic calming measure. Their primary complaint seemed to be about the number of cars that use Golden to get to Carling.  This, to me, is total nonsense. As one woman pointed out, she never uses Golden to get to Carling from Richmond because she just gets lost. This got a laugh, but it’s true. If you were to look at a map of the area you’d clearly see that Golden is a clear route to Carling. People are much more likely to take Broadview, or Roosevelt, or Churchill.

Fact: an earlier traffic study shows that Golden Avenue does not have a high enough traffic volume to require any sort of traffic calming measure.

But for some reason, Councillor Leadman took the idea and ran with it. Why? We’re all wondering, but personally I think it’s because it benefits the developers of the Westboro Exchange – a condo that is going to be built on the corner of Golden and Richmond Road.

Back to the meeting of December 5th. There were some architectural-type illustrations of what the proposed “new” view of Golden would look like. The plan is to turn it into a pedestrian thoroughfare. The view we were shown looked southward from a point on Richmond Road. We saw a tree-lined walkway with people walking to and fro.

How practical is that? It’s at the very end of the commercial part of Westboro Village. More importantly, closing the road will push traffic onto other roads, including the Roosevelt/Byron intersection, which (if you know it) is absolutely terrible and is an accident waiting to happen.

The other thing that really bothers me about this issue is this:

One of the people who attended that December 5 meeting asked everyone to raise their hands if they were against this proposal. I swear to god  80 to 85% of those in attendance raised their hands, indicating they were against it. It was clear, judging by the number of people who raised their hands, and made comments, that the majority of people did not agree with what was being presented.

Here’s  part of an email I wrote to the Councillor after that meeting:

“I-m wondering what is going to happen next in this process, especially since the vast majority of the people who attended the consultation are vehemently against this proposal.
 
I’m wondering why this continues to be an issue. Why is it not dead in the water?
 
The proposal would benefit very few people and have a negative impact on the rest of the neighbourhood. The proposal does not respect the desires of the larger community. Closing that stretch of Golden would alter traffic patterns in a negative way, forcing traffic onto neighbouring roads.”

In response, she wrote that the majority of residents that were present “might represent one building,” and that she does “not consider this to be a vast majority or representative of the community at large.”

I’ll tell you, the majority of residents were definitely not from one building. And it was very clear that the vast majority were against the proposal to close Golden. One has to assume that those who came out and spoke out do represent the interests of the community. That’s also how elections work, don’t they?

What wasn’t shown during the public consultation was a site plan of what they’re really trying to do. This document was created in October 2007 but was but was neither provided to residents in advance of the public consultation, nor at the public consultation on December 5. The drawing was obtained from city planning staff upon specific request by a neighbour.

Here is a PDF copy of it.

So. According to this plan, a large part of city owned land, including a slice off a piece of Byron Tramway Park, would be sold to the developers of the Westboro Exchange to build a ramp that leads to the condo’s underground parking. But we are told that the closing of Golden is a traffic calming measure for a street that doesn’t need what is essentially the most severe traffic calming measure there is. That doesn’t fly with me.

This, taken from another email to the councillor, written by a neighbour who lives on Kenwood:

“Besides a few residents on Golden, the chief beneficiary of your proposal to close Golden and appropriate public land appears to be the developer/ owner of the site. I am not opposed to re-development, but developers in Westboro hardly need financial incentives, development charges waived, or hand-outs from the public purse. If parking and access cannot be managed within the site, then the developers should be required to scale back this oversize development.”

Yes. Yes. Yes.

It’s so frustrating. I want to be represented in a fair and transparent way by my elected Councillor, but it can’t happen when business interests come before those of the majority of people who live here.

What’s going to happen next? No one knows, but we’ve been told to sit tight and wait.

“… my middle child struggles with ADHD, hyperactivity and defiance issues. We’re on a journey together, as you can imagine, and I wondered if you are aware of any other parents who might blog about similar issues. I’m not even sure how to search through blogs, except to look at each one seperately and get a sense of it. Anyway, I would love to know if you are aware of anything like that. Please let me know if you get a chance.”

Outiside of doing a Google blog search I don’t know of any actual blogs that fit the bill. Can anyone out there help this gal out?