28 Nov, 2006
the one where she almost burned her face off
Posted by andrea tomkins in: Recipes and Food
I was holding my tongue under a jet of ice cold water from the kitchen tap when it occurred to me that if the neighbors were looking into the kitchen window they might find this situation rather amusing.
I on the other hand was (a) not amused and (b) already writing the text of this post in my head.
My tongue was very hurt. And I could only blame myself.
But first, allow me to backtrack.
In the last few years I’ve really developed a taste for spicy things.
Perhaps it’s because my tastebuds have deadened as I grow older and they need a real whoopin’ to get me going. Perhaps I’m addicted to the rush of endorphins my body produces when I eat something spicy. I’m not sure what precipitated this change.
1. I suddenly like Dijon mustard
2. I love pickled peppers and spicy eggplant on my sandwiches
3. Horseradish on a burger? Bring it on!
4. Jalapeno chips? Yes ma’am!
5. Tabasco in my Caesar? Oh yeah!
6. Hot sauce on my nachos? Yep!
I also really like cheese-stuffed jalapenos. Not the fried kind (bah, those are for wimps!) but the kind that are offered in the antipasto section of the grocery store. They sell them in sealed packages, floating in oil, at Loblaws. I discovered them recently at Farm Boy, in bulk (!) and since I was shopping on an empty stomach I filled a container of them, along with stuffed mushrooms (whichI don’t recommend unless you like blue cheese) and also bocconcini in oil and peppers.
The jalapenos looked very good. They weren’t as wrinkly. They were solid. Brighter. They held promise.
I am fairly certain that the pre-packed Loblaws variety sits in oil and loses its heat. The ones I had just bought were still crunchy. CRUNCHY! That means the oil hadn’t started to leach out the heat.
For anyone who hasn’t eaten a stuffed pepper know that it is the bad big brother of the pickled pepper. In short, you have no idea what you’re dealing with.
I took a bite. And then another. And then I heard a train whistle. My tongue felt the fire of a thousand fires. I gulped milk. And then more. And then held a swished mouthful of it over my tongue. Curses! Nothing was helping!
Sarah was in the middle of telling me something. “Uh, excuse me honey,” I croaked as I ran for the fridge. “Mummy really needs to do something right now.”
That’s when I ran to the sink to run my mouth under water. Nada. And then I dug a soup spoon out of the drawer and fumbled in the fridge for the plain yogurt. The container was surrounded by an aura of golden light and angels sang when I removed the lid. Ohhhh, dear dear yogurt. I didn’t even stir you. I took a huge heaping spoonful to my burning maw wallpapered the insides of my mouth with it.
It’s official. I’ve hit my limit with the hot stuff. But now I have two peppers left. Anybody want one? ;)
