a peek inside the fishbowl

1 | Mary Lynn

January 9th, 2009 at 2:10 pm

I like how you handled it–polite lying and all. You let her know not to park there while at the same time making it seem like you were doing her a favour, which of course you were.

As for what I would do, sometimes I would say something similar to what you said, and other times I might say nothing. I would probably gauge it by how receptive I think the person will be to what I have to say. Some people just give off a “don’t mess with me” vibe. If I sense that I keep my mouth shut as I’m not crazy about confrontations.

2 | Roz

January 9th, 2009 at 2:39 pm

It drives me nuts when people park alongside the curb in front of a store (it happens a lot at the grocery store) or in handicapped spots when it seems obvious that they have no reason to (i’ve commented about that on your blog before!). I’ve never said anything to a lazybone-parker…yet…

3 | J.

January 9th, 2009 at 2:45 pm

I wouldn’t have said anything. She probably knew what she was doing, you just happen to be around to point it out.

4 | Aimee Larsen

January 9th, 2009 at 3:46 pm

I’m shy in public so there are alot of times I kick myself for not speaking up…good for you.
I’d want somone to do it for me though!

5 | The Veg Next Door

January 9th, 2009 at 4:08 pm

I always keep my mouth shut in situations like that EXCEPT when people don’t have their dogs on leashes then I can be just plain nasty. You did good!

6 | andrea

January 9th, 2009 at 4:55 pm

I’m still debating whether I am a dogooder or a busybody. :)
You know when I really have trouble keeping my mouth shut? When I see people who “forget” to clean up after their dogs.

7 | The Veg Next Door

January 9th, 2009 at 5:05 pm

Andrea: I’m with you. That’s just gross.

8 | Marla

January 9th, 2009 at 7:32 pm

I sound like an old crank, but I think there used to be more of a sense of shame when people did wrong, and a hesitation before doing so – rather than a sense of entitlement and disregard. And part of that came from experiencing the disapproval of others. I think more people speaking up and letting miscreants know (politely, of course) helps more than it ever hurts, even if it doesn’t always work. You know me – I’m usually nice about it, but sometimes there is an edge.

Cars often pull up in front of the store where I work, and it’s a streetcar stop and so the ticket is $60. I’ll always tell them – because it’s not only is it expensive, it’s wrong because it makes it difficult for people to exit the rear doors. Sometimes they still run in for their Sushi pick-up next door anyway, sometimes they move it. Once I’ve spoken up, I feel I’ve satisfied my obligation. I speak up about dog poo (Even if it’s silently handing over a bag and pointing), I speak up to litterbugs (calling after them after with the piece of litter and saying “Excuse me, did you mean to drop this on the ground?”), and I speak up to people who abuse the disabled parking spaces, because I know people who need them.

That said, I also shovel neighbours’ walks for them rather than reminding them that there’s a bylaw – unless it’s the bad developer. I email him once and set a time by which I will call the city on him; and I pick up litter I find, and I pick up stray dog poops that I find when I’m walking Molly too, unless it’s so frozen I can’t chisel it out of the ice. I call the city’s graffiti hotline and make reports about things that have been dumped. I call the stores when I see shopping carts left around the neighbourhood, and in general.

I think of all of those things as “conscious actions for improvement” rather than thinking of them as being crabby or peeved or a busybody. I wish that more people did so too. The social norms these days are so sloppy – sometimes I wish my own conscience would let me get away with more. Why am I making sure to buy time on a meter, or pick up after others’ dogs or call about an abandoned sofa repeatedly when others can walk past it? How is it that I feel I have the flaw of feeling responsibility?
I think you showed good character to say something.

“Character is doing the right thing when nobody’s looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that’s right is to get by, and the only thing that’s wrong is to get caught.” ~J.C. Watts

9 | LO

January 9th, 2009 at 7:53 pm

I would have said something and I have said something!
It’s all about safety and fairness!!!

10 | porter

January 9th, 2009 at 8:01 pm

If I thought they were deliberately parking in a no parking zone and just being lazy, and I thought they’d get a ticket I’d let em…and I’d enjoy it too! If I thought they didn’t genuinely realize it then I would warn them.

As for the dog poop…funny how much of a little chat has taken place over dog poop, I’d absolutely tell anyone who left poop!!! Gross. I pick up after my dog, I don’t want to pick up after someone else’s or worse step in it!

11 | LO

January 10th, 2009 at 8:29 am

Dog poop-yeah, that’s me yelling out my window “did you forget your bag? I have lots. Here, let me give you one.”

12 | Andrea

January 10th, 2009 at 11:11 am

I certainly would have said something and politely lied about it, something to the effect of, “Yeah I learned the hard way about it and just thought I’d give you a heads up.” She’d either be thankful and move her vehicle or if she were not, the ticket she’d surely get would be my unspoken “told ya so!”.

And Marla, I thought I was the only one who lived the J.C. Watts quote daily.

13 | Jenn

January 10th, 2009 at 2:16 pm

Yes, I would have said something, and I have. My pet peeve is the people that don’t have the energy to wander the extra 20 steps to the shopping cart corral and leave their carts in handicapped spots instead. And of course, people who park in handicapped spots that obviously aren’t, or the jerks that park in expectant mother spots that are not expecting, or capable of motherhood! (It seems to be big guys in pick up trucks that I often see in those spots!)

14 | Scatteredmom

January 10th, 2009 at 4:37 pm

I think you sounded more helpful then on their case. :)

Usually I just let them learn the “natural consequences”.

Oh I SO don’t like the dog poop thing-especially on my lawn. Then I get a bit testy. What I hate the MOST is dog poop left on a school playground.