a peek inside the fishbowl

21 May, 2012

Dogs v. Cats

Posted by andrea tomkins in: dog stuff

This appeared in my Inbox and I laughed so hard that I had to reproduce it here, but with photos.

A day from Piper’s Diary

8:00 am – Breakfast! My favourite thing!

piper-breakfast

9:30 am – Looked out the window! My favourite thing!

piper-window

10:30 am – Had a nap! My favourite thing!

piper-nap

12:00 pm – Committed squeak toy murder! My favourite thing!

piper-squeaktoy

12:30 pm – Found a sunny spot! My favourite thing!

piper-sunnyspot

1:00 pm – Got my ears scritched! My favourite thing!

Ear scritching

3:00 pm – Found a sunny spot! My favourite thing!

piper-nap2

5:30 pm – Sniffed stuff outside! My favourite thing!

piper-sniff

5:35 pm – Found a stick! My favourite thing!

piper-stick

6:30 pm – Off leash time! My favourite thing!

7:45 pm – Doing tricks for dog cookies! My favourite thing!

Do a dance!

9:30 pm – Play with the people when they’re really tired! My favourite thing!

piper-greensqueaker

10:00 p.m. Curled up in a ball and went to bed! My favorite thing!

Piper is snoozing

A day from a Cat’s Diary

Day 983 of my captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.

Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously simple minded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move.

My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…

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7 Responses to "Dogs v. Cats"

1 | Pam @writewrds

May 21st, 2012 at 7:50 am

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Beware of the top of the stairs… : D

2 | AMotherhoodBlog

May 22nd, 2012 at 7:55 am

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I loved this when I first read it. Love how you added in your dogs day in photos! So cute!

3 | RobertN

May 22nd, 2012 at 6:46 pm

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So cute! Greetings from Brasov!

4 | Cat Person

May 23rd, 2012 at 1:36 pm

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It’s not fair that you included cute dog pictures and not cute cat pictures. That’s not very balanced journalism!

Signed,
A Cat Person ;-)

5 | Alison p-h

May 23rd, 2012 at 4:49 pm

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Great post! Thanks for sharing.

6 | Pamela

May 31st, 2012 at 3:23 pm

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haha I love this. I have had cats forever, but recently adopted a dog and yes, it truly seems like absolutely everything is her “favourite thing.”

7 | Something new. Starring Piper! >> a peek inside the fishbowl

February 14th, 2014 at 10:49 am

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[…] not sure where the narrative is going. So far it’s been a lot of selfies and posts about her favourite things, but I do see this as the beginning of a fun collaborative multimedia project. What does a dog […]

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