a peek inside the fishbowl

28 Jul, 2015

When life is lovely and terrible

Posted by andrea tomkins in: Misc. life

Front row seats for the sunset

We’re back from our annual camping trip.

My friend K_ passed away suddenly while we were gone. A stroke. I’ve lost my mojo and am finding it very hard to muster up the enthusiasm and energy required to do anything.

K_ was a strong, adventurous type, and I think she would have liked our trip. I spent the latter half of our holiday trying very hard to be mindful of the moment at hand. I saw her in the waves of the lake, the flicker of the campfire and in the glowing embers. I heard her in the whispering of the trees and the beating wings of the loon and in the rain falling on our tent. She is everywhere. She is nowhere.

The world has lost a spark and is that much dimmer.

K_ and I worked together for a stretch and stayed in touch over the years. I liked her. Immensely. She was the smarter, wiser, older sister I always wished I’d had. The last time I saw her was at a colleague’s funeral on July 26, 2014. K_ was her good old self – bright and delightful as always despite the sad circumstances of our meeting. We made plans to get together for dinner as we parted. I suddenly missed her very much. “Let’s do it,” I urged. “Really, we have to meet for dinner.”

She read and commented here on the blog, and we followed each other and chatted on Facebook, but we never did get together for that dinner. Life got in the way.

K_ passed away on July 24.

My heart is hurting this week but I don’t want to make this post about me. I am terribly sad for her family, who lost someone much too early and so suddenly.

I fear for myself and my own family. This is something I have to admit. K_’s passing is another reminder that the time we have here is limited. We live our lives as if it’s a journey without end. We take our time for granted yet it’s the most valuable thing we own. Can I honestly say that I’ve lived? And done everything I’ve intended to do?


8 Responses to "When life is lovely and terrible"

1 | Tiana

July 28th, 2015 at 11:39 am

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I’m sorry for the loss Andrea.

2 | Anne

July 28th, 2015 at 11:53 am

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So sorry to hear of your loss. This post helps us all remember to try to enjoy each moment as best we can.

3 | Misty Pratt

July 28th, 2015 at 1:40 pm

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I’m so sorry to hear that you lost this good friend. I think we all ask ourselves if we are living our best lives, but it is the daily “grind” that sometimes overrides our ability to be in the moment. When we lose someone, it shakes us to our core. What’s that quote by Mary Oliver? Oh yes…”someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift.”

4 | Pamela

July 28th, 2015 at 1:40 pm

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Sorry for your loss.
She will live on because she has woven her life into those she loved and loved her.

5 | Misty Pratt

July 28th, 2015 at 1:42 pm

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(and I don’t mean that your friend dying is a gift…only that the sorrow we experience in life can sometimes help to illuminate things we couldn’t see)

6 | Rosalind

July 28th, 2015 at 3:49 pm

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So well said Andrea. I fear for myself and my family too. I’m so sorry to hear about your friend but a very good reminder that we have to stop living like we’re going to live forever. Every day is a gift.

7 | Laurel

July 29th, 2015 at 4:22 pm

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Hugs! A lot of them!

8 | coffee with julie

August 1st, 2015 at 8:57 pm

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This is so sad. And it really does make it hit home that life is not everlasting. I’m sorry to hear your lost a friend, and feel terrible for her loved ones.

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