08 Feb, 2017
Posted by andrea tomkins in: Misc. life
Yesterday was a lost day for me.
I should actually write that as Lost Day, because that’s the way I see it in my mind. Capital L. Capital D.
It was a Lost Day. Or, at least, it started out that way.
It’s very hard to do anything when it’s a Lost Day. It’s hard to get out of bed. Get out of the shower. Get dressed. It’s hard to be productive, hard to be chipper, hard to motivate myself to go to the gym. It’s even hard to write in my wonderful new agenda.
The easiest thing to do is stay in my fuzzy bathrobe, pull my hair back into a ponytail, and do little outside of watching Netflix and reading. It’s also very easy to wallow in that murky pool of self-pity. On Lost Days, worries and anxieties I had banished tend to sneak in and regain a foothold.
I eventually forced myself to get dressed. I made yogurt (!). I did some work. I ate too much. I put a few pieces in a big puzzle that has been underway since Christmas. But it was like I was moving in molasses.
I was in the shower today and realized that my morning routine is My Daily Pillar. If my pillar is in place, everything somehow comes together ok. I remembered that, for the past few days, I had temporarily abandoned my morning routine for reasons I won’t go into here. Usually, I wake up, put on my gym clothes, make coffee, bask in the glow of my Litebook for 30 minutes while I write, do 30 on the treadmill, eat my yogurt & granola, have a shower, pop my vitamins, then start my day for realz. But since I hadn’t been doing those things I had no pillar to build upon. As a result, the foundation started to crumble.
As for now, I am going back to my routine and am trying to soak up some sunshine while it lasts. Maybe I’ll make a cup of tea… and start building again.