a peek inside the fishbowl

Julie is a fellow Ottawa local and blogger. I read her blog Coffee with Julie religiously every day and think she is particularly gorgeous as well as brilliant and funny. Also, she is up for mother-of-the-year award this year and rumor has it she’s bound to win even though she has fallen short of maintaining her organic garden and homecooking regiment. Someday you should ask her to tell you about stuffy taxi cab rides in NYC. Over to you Julie! xoxo

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Dear Andrea,

I’ve been really loving your Reno series of posts. I am fascinated by real estate and, more and more, by house design, so I eagerly look forward to each one.

Although your posts are upbeat, I would imagine that you are also experiencing some of the stress that invariably comes with all that decision-making. As you know, our family decided to move house instead of renovating. It was a really difficult decision, but one that we are very happy with now.

“Now” meaning “now that the move is done and we are in our new house.”

But fear not, your decision to renovate brings about some very significant advantages over the moving house experience. So whenever you are feeling overwhelmed by the reno work, I’ve prepared a little list that might help buoy your spirits.

#5. You can pat yourself on the back and invest in some luxury
The cost of the real estate commissions, land transfer taxes, lawyer’s fees, and a myriad of other closing costs totals to approximately 10% of the total cost of your house sale. When you sit down and actually consider this, it’s a mind-boggling amount of money. Knowing that you’ve saved yourself these costs by going the reno-route means that you can totally justify the granite counter tops you’ve been eyeing for your kitchen. Totally.

#4. You can still imagine that House & Home magazine will come knocking one day.
Real estate agents are all about “staging” these days. So when you put your house up for sale, you’ll need to stage it. This process involves a total stranger coming into your house and pointing out all of the items in your home that are simply not fit for public consumption. Inevitably, these items are your most prized possessions. So much for your design style.

#3. Your secret is safe with me, girlfriend.
If you stay put and do a reno, you don’t need to pack up your underwear drawer, which forces you to realize how your stash has slowly transformed over the years from lacy and colourful to granny-style and practical. With a reno, you can live in denial about your granny-panty transformation.

#2. Remember when you couldn’t bring yourself to flush little Nemo down the toilet?
Another bonus of doing a reno is that you don’t need to de-frost your freezer. It’s not the actual de-frosting that’s bad, but rather coming face-to-face with what you’ve actually been storing in there. If you’re lucky, there are no former pets.

#1. A reno can dramatically increase your chances of staying married.
When you sell and buy a house, you need to make multiple visits to the lawyer’s office to sign paperwork. This makes drawing up divorce papers fairly convenient, since you’re already there and all. But with a reno, you can keep the ol’d marital strings tied because you won’t be crossing a lawyer’s threshold. This is something to keep in mind as you bicker about which bathroom faucet is the best choice.

So Andrea, just print out this little list and keep it folded in your back pocket. It might just come in handy in the weeks to come.

Love from your bloggy friend,

Julie

Thank you Sharon for agreeing to be a guest poster at the Fishbowl today! Sharon DeVellis is a mother, wife, writer and editor. You can read about the deep, dark, grammatically incorrect intimate details of her life at The Inside Scoop or how she decided to become a speed skater at the age of 41 at Speed Skating Mom. Read on my Fishies! :)

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One goldfish, two hamsters, one lazy cat. Casa DeVellis is a pet friendly house. Sort of. I don’t actually *like* all our pets. The cat is okay, except when she bites my ankles because she’s hungry. And I’ve renamed the hamsters from Hammy and Cinnamon to “What The Hell Was I Thinking” and “I’m Pretty Sure You’re Satan”. Goldfish are pretty much at the top of my list, causing the least amount of problems.

Except, you know, when they die.

We have now been through three goldfish deaths. All three, unfortunately, belonging to my youngest son. Despite living in the dirtiest fish tank ever, my older son’s fish is now two years old and doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. I’m pretty sure that’s some sort of world record. Also proving the old adage that what doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

Goldy, Goldifer and Swimmer – may they rest in peace – have taught me a few things about dealing with the death of a pet. Hopefully this will prepare you for the demise of any goldfish in your house and/or any unflushables.

Death Is Not Always Swift: Goldy was the first and most coveted fish. His death was a bit of a roller coaster ride. Floating at the top of the bowl, gills not moving I’d announce “I think Goldy’s passed on” and my son would burst into tears only to look over 30 seconds later and see Goldy take a breath. This went on every four to five hours for three days.

Not gonna lie. By the third day I wanted to kill Goldy myself.

You Never Know How They’re Going To React: With Goldy, my son cried uncontrollably, shoulders heaving while trying to catch his breath between sobs. When the second fish died, he took one look and said “when can we bury him” and went out to play. So when the third fish died, I was expecting another non-reaction. Instead I got uncontrollable crying again. Just go with it.

The Reaction Might Not Come Right Away: The non-reaction for Goldifer’s departure wasn’t so much a non-reaction as a delay. That night when I was putting my son to bed and he spotted the empty tank, the tears came. Again, just go with it. Also, remove any evidence of the dead pets from the room even if you spent the entire day caring for your other son who has the flu and are completely exhausted. Kids whose pets die can cry for a really really long time. Like, way past their bedtime.

Note: If they catch you glancing at the clock to see the time this will only make things worse.

Funeral Arrangements: My parents used the drop and flush method but when I suggested this, my son started crying again. He didn’t want his fish to go to the sewers so we decided on a burial in the backyard. Our backyard is all patio stones. Thanks for that Nemo.

Bury Them Right Away: Goldy and Goldifer were ceremoniously buried immediately and to great fanfare with speeches, tears and headstones. We got a bit lax with Swimmer, having to run errands before any sort of burial took place. Milk and bread supersede pet funerals at our house so I threw Swimmer in the freezer in a plastic baggie until we got home from grocery shopping. Only, we all kind of forgot about little Swimmer…..until about a week later when my son got himself a Freezie as an after dinner treat.

Freezies will never be the same at our house.

It’s GUEST POST WEEK here at the Fishbowl! Julie Broczkowski, owner and head chef at The Magic Fridge, has been cooking professionally for ten years, and in her own kitchen for her friends and family for over 20. Julie – bless her heart – said she’s “ecstatic to be contributing a guest post to A Peek Inside the Fishbowl” (isn’t that nice?) and “hopes it will empower the intimidated home cook – food at home is not as difficult as the magazines and cookbooks make it seem!” If you’re a really busy person (like meeeee!), Julie and her Fridge Fairies can help. Check out www.themagicfridge.com for more details on her personal chef service. Thank you Julie!

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Meal planning…. it’s one of those things that we *know* we should do, but somehow never get around to doing it. But just like diet and exercise, it really works when you do it whole-heartedly. Here are a few Do’s and Don’ts to make meal planning fun, easier and more satisfying.

DON’T try to fix it if it ain’t broke… list all the meals you cook now that are big hits with your family and make them the backbone of your initial meal plan. This is your YES list.

DO try new things, but not all at once. Add one new meal to your plan each week, and if the family likes it, add it to your YES list.

DON’T be the only one who works on your plan. Get input from other family members. You’ll have fewer ideas to come up with, and your family will be more open to the process and the meals if they have contributed.

DO cook once, eat twice. This can be as simple as planned leftovers for lunch the next day, or as all-encompassing as OAMC (Once-a-Month Cooking) and freezer-feeding. I land somewhere in the middle. If I have a less busy suppertime, I will cook two suppers that day, and put one in the fridge for the next day when I am busier. Or I’ll cook a big roast knowing the second half will become fajitas later on in the week.

DON’T get caught up in the idea of following recipes. They’re great for ideas and guidelines, but can be overwhelming with all their techniques, details and fancy touches. For example; you see a recipe for, say, chicken with apples and squash, and it appeals to you. Then you look at the recipe and it’s a page and a half long with seventeen steps and three pans. Why not just cook some chicken with apples and serve it with a side dish of squash? If there is a particular spice or seasoning mentioned in the recipe, add it to the chicken while you’re cooking it.

DO use your family’s skills and interests to your advantage. Got a computer-obsessed person in the family? Ask them to make a meal planning spreadsheet and work with you to update it once every week or two. Put an active child in charge of taking the menu poll once a week, running around asking each family member if they have an idea to add to the meal plan – if they are old enough to write, issue an official notebook for taking down the suggestions. Is someone crafty? Show them this pretty, easy menu board project from MakeAndTakes.com.

DO get inspiration from other places…. lots of blogs and websites post meal plans, so check them out and adapt them for your own family.

DON’T freak out if you stray from the plan, and then decide that this meal planning stuff doesn’t work. One night ordering pizza isn’t going to hurt anyone. At least you have a plan for the other four weeknights, right?