I am an imperfect parent, one who’s made many mistakes along this long road of mothering. I’m an imperfect parent because I’m an imperfect person. And I’m getting worse. I’m not as patient as I used to be, and I’m a bit of a yeller, and I don’t hide my feelings very well. When I’m annoyed I have a tendency to Enunciate.Every.Word.Because.
I.Want.My.Kids.To.REALLY.Hear.What.I’m.Saying.
Sidebar: I have often thought about what it is that makes me grumpy. Here’s a short list:
- when I’m tired
- when I’m hungry
- when I’m thirsty
- when I’m stressed out
All of these (perhaps with the exception of sleep) are mostly preventable, aren’t they? Sigh.
Anyway, yes, I don’t beat myself up over my parenting mistakes TOO much. I can only hope that (a) I’ve learned from my mistakes and (b) my children aren’t messed up too badly and/or scarred for life and (c) they remember the good things we’ve done together when they’re figuring out what to do with me when I’m a little old lady.
I want to share a little something that I’ve learned, six words that have been known to turn a crappy situation around on its head. It’s really quite amazing. Here they are:
I think someone needs a hug.
Pretty simple eh? Try it the next time time someone has a bad day at school or has had an argument with their best friend. Say it, and follow it up with a pair of open arms. Open them wide, take a step forward, and watch the magic happen. Falling into a pair of waiting arms, breathing out a deep breath, and melting into the other person is practically automatic. And it feels really good.
And do you know what the best thing is? My kids have started saying those six words to me. I’ll find myself at a breaking point; standing in the kitchen with $20 worth of expired meat in one hand, a stinking dish rag in the other and an overflowing garbage bin behind me, or in front of a sink full of filthy dishes and dinner no where in sight; tired, hungry, grumpy. It’s when I feel like I’m about to implode, is when those six words are likely to be returned to me. Those words are like throwing a wet towel on a grenade, and although they doesn’t make the dishes disappear, the wick is extinguished and the explosion is diffused.
How about trying these six words and seeing what happens? I’d love to hear if this little bit of parenting magic works at your house.
