a peek inside the fishbowl

My sense of time is distorted. Mostly because one of the publications I work on, Capital Parent Newspaper, is produced ahead of time and it messes with my internal calendar. The Christmas issue is already out and I’ve been thinking about the New Year for a couple of weeks already. Perhaps that’s where this post comes from. It’s not even the end of November but I have found my thoughts turning to my New Year’s resolutions. Here’s the thing: for once, I was actually able to keep them this year. (Well, all except for the one I wrote about here. The 52-week jar was a bit of a bust. Mostly because we were dipping into the well to fund things like school trips and forgetting to add to it. Gah.)

But for the most part, I did well. My resolutions in January 2014 included:

• A minimum of 20 minutes on the treadmill every day. The reason this worked is because I use Facebook as the carrot to get me there every morning. (Hey, whatever works, right?)
• Taking my vitamins every day.
• Getting some fresh air every day.
• Filling out my one-line journal every night.

I think I’m a happier and healthier person because of them, even though they aren’t big ones that include climbing mountains, marathons, or gym memberships.

Sidebar: I find it fascinating how energy begets energy. I think back on how hard it was to do that first 20 minute walk, but I persevered and did it. And I did it again and again. And every time it got a tiiiiiiny bit easier. Imperceptively, really, but that’s what got me through those hard days and convinced me to go back. (Also, Facebook.)

I know I’ve written this here before, and I hate to sound like a broken record, but sometimes we need to put ourselves first, not just for us, for our health and well-being, but so we can be good to others; good parents, good bosses, good employees, good neighbours. When we put ourselves first and find what we need in order to be healthy, well-balanced, functioning citizens of the world, the rest of the stuff is more likely to fall into place. Don’t you think? I know that when I feel good, I am happier. And when I’m happier, I’m able to accomplish more, with a lighter heart, and I’m sure there has to be an effect on the people around me.

So here’s my challenge to you: will you promise to spend a few moments to take care of yourself for just one day? It could be today, it could be sometime this weekend or next week. Just find a day, and do something for yourself.

You can interpret the “take better care of myself” in any way that makes sense to you; mentally or physically or both. But remember, it’s about YOU. Here are a few ideas of the kinds of things you can do:

• eat a balanced breakfast
• go for a brisk walk, and push yourself to go faster
• send the kids away and enjoy a long bath while reading a magazine
• skip dessert and eat an apple instead
• go to bed early
• take the steps two at a time
• download an app like Couch-5K or 100 pushups and challenge yourself physically
• drink extra water throughout the day in a pretty glass
• take your vitamins
• floss
• do that THING you’ve been putting off: e.g. make that doctor’s appointment already!
• do that active THING you used to love doing and haven’t done in forever: swimming, skating, hiking, bowling, etc.
• throw out your granny panties and buy all new underthings that make you feel great
• fix that button on your favourite coat/shirt/cardigan
• be vegetarian for a day
• be a vegan for a day
• what’s your favourite fruit or veggie? Buy it for yourself, no matter the cost, and eat it.
• make and eat a proper lunch
• make a coffee date with a friend

I’m sure we can collectively come up with a few more things we can do on “take care of myself” day. And I’m not suggesting a day at the spa (although wouldn’t THAT be nice?) but a tiny thing or two, that’s just for you.

Try it and see. Then come back and tell me what you did and how it made you feel. Who knows? Maybe that thing do will give you a bit of a charge, and you might find yourself repeating it the next day. Because energy begets energy, right?

So this happened:

And before I could pop another piece in I googled “burned toast” and “Heritage Moment” because TO THIS DAY I can’t smell burned toast without remembering this commercial.

Funnily enough, it took me ages to find it because it’s titled: Wilder Penfield on Historica Canada’s YouTube Channel. Had they called it “I smell burned toast video” it would have been a faster process. :)

But there is a happy ending to this story (other than the fact I got to watch that old commercial again). I realized that many of the videos are archived here! Some of my favourites include: Marshall McLuhan (“THE MEDIUM IS THE MESSAGE!”), Superman, Orphans, Emily Murphy, Agnes Macphail (“IS THIS NORMAL?”), Rural Teacher, Nellie McClung (“Nice women, don’t want the vote.”).

There are many more, many I hadn’t seen. According to this recent Globe and Mail article, the Heritage Minutes “aired frequently on television during commercial breaks in the 90s, but went on a nearly eight-year hiatus. Historica Canada, the organization behind the spots, brought them back in 2012. They are funded by the Department of Canadian Heritage, as well as donors – in this case, donors from Winnipeg who wanted to bring awareness to the story of the Winnipeg Falcons.” (There’s another great video in that article, so make sure you watch it.)

It got me thinking: ads work. Scratch that, GOOD ads work. (And it’s something I’ll try to remember the next time someone insists that McDonald’s advertising is easy to ignore and has no impact on decision making). There’s a reason I remember that commercial every time I smell burning toast, and it comes down to good storytelling. And I’m not just talking about the script, but visual storytelling, emotional storytelling. The best kind of content makes us feel something; pride, sadness, joy, anger, surprise.  The best ads, and articles, and photographs, and paintings, and podcasts, are the ones that tap into something deep inside our brain and as a result, stick with us for a long time afterwards like the smell of burned toast.

Do you remember the Heritage Minutes? Which one has stuck with you?

It happens practically every night here at Casa Fishbowl. One of the girls turns to us and asks, “So what are we doing tonight?” This, of course, does not include the usual things that happen after dinner, such as kitchen cleaning and dog walking. My reaction to this question depends upon a lot of variables, including but not limited to (a) how tired I am (b) if I have work to do (c) my mental state in general. Sometimes (er, who am I kidding) MANY times I just want to collapse in a big heap with my book and read all night, but I understand I probably shouldn’t do that all of the time. Our kids want to do things with us, and for that I am grateful. We all watch a TV show together more often than I care to admit, and now that the weather has turned this has become the default. And I don’t want it to be the default, in fact, I don’t want any screens to be part of our evenings together at all.

I understand this is probably more for my sanity than yours, here is My List of Things to Do With The Kids After Dinner, broken down into categories, just because I need to get my act together:

Chore-like a.k.a Things That Need to Get Done 

• Homework and music practice – Note: I’m not doing this, the kids are.
• Focused 15 – We stopped doing this, but I’m bringing it back!
• Laundry – Are the kids washing their clothing frequently enough? To be honest, I’m not sure.
• Basement 911 – if we all spent 30 minutes organizing our basement every night, maybe we’ll have a habitable space by 2017?
• Grocery shopping – I’m seriously considering doing this at night instead of using daylight hours for the tedium.
• Baking/cooking/lunch prep for the next day. (HA. Yeah right.)

In home activities

• Games! Card games, dice games, word games, strategy games… all of these make the basis of quality family time. Unfortunately, sometimes I don’t have energy at the end of the day to play a rousing round or two. What games require zero energy output?
• Puzzles – I recently discovered a love for puzzles, and the kids came around to doing it with me too. We need more cool puzzles around here! All I’m seeing online is magical unicorns, snowy Christmas, frolicking bunnies, and underwater scenes. Methinks: a trip to Hobby House is in order.
• Crafty things – This might be a good time to thinking about homemade Christmas gifts and the like. Our youngest has expressed an interest in sewing. Perhaps some sewing machine practice would be useful?
• Having friends over for dessert – (I read this article awhile back and it’s stayed with me. I’m not sure if I can do dinner, but I think I could do dessert!)
• Mani/pedi – Unfortunately this leaves Mark out of the equation.
• Vegetating. Doing nothing. There is nothing wrong with doing nothing, right?

Out of the house

• A trip to the library (this can easily take up a couple of hours)
• ?? **

** Notice I didn’t mention shopping as an option. Shopping for leisure equals expenditure, and I am not sure I really want to encourage the idea of shopping for fun. Shopping for fun can be an expensive habit that’s hard to break.

Is it the season? I am so uninspired right now. When it gets colder we can go skating on the canal, or for a night ski. We used to go swimming at the pool, and the Kanata Wave Pool. Maybe it’s time to revisit this again? (Question: do I still own a one piece??) If I’m honest with myself I have to admit that going on a big excursion with the kids at night is generally not something I want to do because I’m so burned out by the end of the day.

Last night we took the dog for a walk, someone cleaned the kitchen, we had a rousing game of Trouble, and spent 20 minutes organizing the basement. And a minor miracle occurred. The girls sorted some old toys that had been taking up space. Some went into the garbage, some to charity, and some to keep. And then the girls got ready for bed and Mark and I watched a stupid episode of Castle in which he travelled to another dimension. Sigh. I should have just read my book.