a peek inside the fishbowl

This is what is on our driveway right now:

I spent most of the amazingly sunny and gorgeous long weekend in the basement, packing with Mark. Oh sure, it was a smidge cooler in the basement than in the rest of the house (our AC was disconnected a couple weeks ago) but marching my weary body up and down the stairs 100 times turned me into a dusty, cranky, sweaty ol’ mess. And I still haven’t quite recovered.

Sadly I ran out of packing paper on holiday Monday, so I was unable to finish what I’d started. I am rushing out to buy packing paper today, and maybe some more boxes. Oh man.

It’s been overwhelming to say the least. EVERY SINGLE ITEM IN OUR HOUSE has to pass through someone’s hands, who has to pause, think, wipe off the dust, and ask him or herself: should this be packed up for the apartment? (In other words, will we need this thing at some point during the next 6-8 months?) Another oft asked question – at least by me – is there room for it in the apartment? Sometimes the answer is no.

Good news:

• Someone took almost all of the National Geographics we put out by the curb. I can’t even tell you how many there were… I couldn’t even lift the box. I am strangely happy to get rid of them.
• The basement is finally under control and the thought of packing it all up no longer sends me into major emotional distress.
• We unearthed my in-law’s heat gun/paint stripping tools we borrowed two years ago and swore we returned.
• Most of the really fragile and valuable things have been packed up and moved offsite already.
• We have the keys to the apartment, and have already carried over a few items that were getting in the way around here (i.e. roller skates, houseplants and golf clubs)
• Mark will be picking up a bunk bed from Ikea for the girls tonight. They are so excited. It’s their dream come true!
• I haven’t mentioned this, but a Fishbowl reader (and a perfect stranger to me) invited me over to her home to look at her reno (but it was largely regarding my bathroom tile post). Isn’t that awesome? It was incredibly helpful to see subway and hexagonal tiles together in action. :)
• Piper has been amazing calm throughout this process. There are guys tearing a hole in my kitchen ceiling as I type and she’s totally cool with it. (Question is, will I be able to get any work done this morning? Sigh.)

Not so good news:

• Although the girls have started packing up their bedrooms, they’re FAR from being done.
• Our bedroom is not done.
• The office is not done, and it’s a biggie.
• Then there’s the kitchen.

Have I mentioned that we move next Tuesday?

This appeared in my Inbox and I laughed so hard that I had to reproduce it here, but with photos.

A day from Piper’s Diary

8:00 am – Breakfast! My favourite thing!

9:30 am – Looked out the window! My favourite thing!

10:30 am – Had a nap! My favourite thing!

12:00 pm – Committed squeak toy murder! My favourite thing!

12:30 pm – Found a sunny spot! My favourite thing!

1:00 pm – Got my ears scritched! My favourite thing!

3:00 pm – Found a sunny spot! My favourite thing!

5:30 pm – Sniffed stuff outside! My favourite thing!

5:35 pm – Found a stick! My favourite thing!

6:30 pm – Off leash time! My favourite thing!

7:45 pm – Doing tricks for dog cookies! My favourite thing!

9:30 pm – Play with the people when they’re really tired! My favourite thing!

10:00 p.m. Curled up in a ball and went to bed! My favorite thing!

—

A day from a Cat’s Diary

Day 983 of my captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.

Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously simple minded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move.

My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…

When I got the gig with Canadian Family Magazine the first thing I did (other than let out a big whoop and do a happy dance around my office) was hire my daughter Sarah to be my assistant. Her job, every week, is to help me with the craft. She helps plan, design, clean up, and she also poses for pictures where required.

She took on a bigger role with week’s craft. I have been swamped with work, and then there’s the reno stuff too, and to add to it all I have come down with a yucky cold this week… and it’s hard to be creative with a runny nose and a head that feels like it’s filled with slow-moving molasses.

Sarah, I declared. We are making shadow puppets for this week’s column. Go to it kid.

And she did. I was working on another article while she beavered away with the cardstock and our X-acto knife set so I had no idea how this was going to turn out.

Sidebar: YES. I let her use an X-acto knife. And it terrifies me. I have to force myself to turn away and not hover. I live in fear that her hand is going to slip and that she’s going to slice herself, but she’s 11. 11! So I have to let go of that fear. So when she gets out the X-actos I simply remind her to be careful (which sounds crazy as I type that out, as if a REMINDER is going to prevent a trip to CHEO) and step away and hope that nothing happens. Ack. Maybe I should invest in a chainmail butcher’s glove?

ANYWAY, her goal was to create a royal family (Prince, Princess, and Royal Horse) and this is what she came up with:

The horse ended up on the cutting room floor so to speak, but we replaced it with a bunny, so it’s ok.

I think she did a great job.  Just look at that dress, and the puffed sleeves, that upturned nose, and that hair! Amazing. I think she deserves a bonus this week, don’t you?

You can get the whole how-to over at the Canadian Family website!