a peek inside the fishbowl

Many of you know that we’re planning a reno (you can read past posts about that here). The plans are almost final but in the meantime, we’re tightening our belts because guess what, haha!, we’re spending more than we planned! (And I want a really nice stove! And a new bed! And a really cool shed!)

This may sound completely crazy, and it’s embarrassing to admit this publicly, but we’ve never adhered to a personal spending budget. We never thought we really needed one. Mark and I aren’t terribly big shoppers, and thankfully we’re on the same wavelength about money and consumer goods. We share a bank account and we talk to each other before making big purchases. And we’ve been doing our annual Shopping Embargo long enough now that the questions we ask ourselves before point-of-purchase are practically automatic:

• Is this a need or a want?
• Is it well made?
• Overpackaged?
• Will it last?
• Is it a good buy?

But otherwise we just, um, spend. And we don’t think much about it.* Groceries! Clothing! Sushi! The debit card gets a workout, and lately, the credit card, because I’ve fallen into a point-related trap. :( It’s time to change all of that, at least for a little while. Bye bye points, farewell spontaneous takeout, it’s time to buckle down and get serious about superfluous spending.

We started three weeks ago. Mark took some cash out of the bank machine and gave me the lion’s share of it. That was our spending money. That amount had to last us the week. No plastic allowed, at all. That means I have had to think doubly hard about each purchase we made. I put back pricey groceries and refused various pleas for treats. Our money had to last.

I realize that there are many people who live this way, full time, seven days a week. It’s real life for them, not some kind of personal challenge. These are people who really and truly don’t have money in the budget to buy a pricey hunk of cheese or a new school outfit for their kids. That’s why I’m not going to make this into a big bloggy challenge or post weekly updates here on the blog. I need to be sensitive to the people for whom this is a way of life.

There’s something about having ACTUAL cash in your wallet that seems to be making a difference here. And to part with it a bit at a time, seeing the number of bills get smaller and my coin compartment get fatter (and having to dig around for coins at the cash register) that really puts things into perspective.

I am not going to reveal the amount we’re working with because I don’t want to be judged, but I will say that it was a challenge. Everything came out of that amount. And you know what, it’s been very hard. That first week I had to buy a wedding gift, some school supplies, groceries for a Sunday dinner with our inlaws and some clothing for Emma. Other expenditures included Mark’s snacks at work (which turned out to cost more money than either of us had thought) and a round of golf.

We spent every dime, and then some. The other day we had to buy printer cartridges ($150!) and it blew us out of the water. (Mark argues that it’s a business expense, and it IS, but still.)

Now that we’re gearing up for another week of the “cash diet” I can safely say that it has definitely affected us. I declined a brunch date because I hadn’t budgeted for it. I’ve been putting off purchases and raiding my closet. I’m bringing my boots to be repaired instead of springing for a new pair. That hurts.

* I need to mention that we do follow the main rule we learned reading the Wealthy Barber (you can find that book using my affiliate link here). We pay ourselves first, and this money goes into RRSPs and things like that.

I think I’ll switch to a different grocery store and see how that goes. I sense more meatloaf in our future and some budget-driven dinners that feature less meat.

Do you live on a budget? I’d love to hear more about it if you do. Give me tips! I need tips! How do you stay on budget?

Amanda Sage (who I previously wrote about here) contacted me recently about a really interesting event she’s organizing and I thought I’d share it here with you. It’s a fundraiser for CARE Canada, and it will be taking place at Petit Bill’s Bistro on Sunday October 2.

It’s a great opportunity to nibble and network with some really cool people. Speakers will include:

• Amanda Putz, CBC Radio host (MC)
• Rob Woodbridge, mobile business advisor
• Richard Weber, Arctic and polar explorer
• Julie Drury, medical advocate
• John Zahab, ultrarunner, fitness trainer
• Kevin Newman, journalist, digital media advisor

Other attending Kickass Canadians attending will include:

• Al Charron, Canadian rugby icon
• Andrew King, painter
• Emily Chen, designer
• Miles Finlayson, filmmaker
• Ryan Steeves, lawyer, youth mentor

There’ll be a silent auction with proceeds going to go to Big Brothers Big Sisters of Ottawa too.

I’ll be there too!

You can buy tickets and read more about this really neat event at the Kickass Canadians website. Please check it out when you have a moment. Thank you!

Warning! This is a long and rambly and deeply introspective post. It’s all over the place and will touch upon several different largish topics.

Subtitle: Let’s Remember That Blogging Is Therapy

Sometimes, when I’m talking about blogging, one of the things people ask me about is how I know what to write about. Where do the ideas come from? Ha ha. It’s easy. I have a lot to say.

Mark and I have differing opinions about blog-worthy content. He doesn’t think that readers really care about our kid’s haircuts or the first day of school or other scrapbooky family stories. He thinks that you all [insert a wiiiide sweeping gesture with my right arm] come here to get handy information about Ottawa-centric activities. I don’t know. Maybe some of you do come here for that. Sometimes the Fishbowl is more like a family scrapbook and less like a public resource, but I’m ok with that. I like that. That’s how I started out, so it’s obviously something I’m comfortable with. I don’t know if he’s right or wrong, and I can only gauge interest levels based on things like comments. But gauging interest based upon the number of comments can be a tricky thing. It’s not exactly a clear indicator of who is reading and why they come back.

Comments are currency in the blogging world. Every blogger deeply appreciates comments, because only through comments (and emails!) can we determine our place in your minds and hearts.

–

I spent a good chunk of yesterday trying to come up with 200-odd words to sum up my career, which was only slightly more fun than doing the laundry. I had to submit a bio for a conference I’m speaking at and was under the gun AND sleep deprived. There are a couple of reasons I find bio-writing rather challenging:

1. a) I hate to sound braggy. Look at me! Award winning blogger! Yahoo. And a bio – especially one that is going to end up on a web page for all to view – is supposed to have self-promotional stylings. So how do you promote yourself without sounding like you’re full of yourself? This is the question.
2. b) It’s hard to be concise when you’ve got your fingers in so many different pies. I wear lots of hats and do lots of different things.

Clearly, it’s time to focus.

–

This is not a very good segway into the main gist of this post, but I decided to quietly bow out of the family portrait photography biz. I’m not throwing my camera away but I took down my Ottawa Family Photography site and won’t be promoting it for the time being.

I’m a very visual person and taking photographs taps into a deep love and appreciation for visual arts. But but but, my portrait assignments were taking too much out of me. They were taking up too many resources and eating into what little spare time I have to spend with my family. And I have only so much to give.

Unfortunately, in my head, I consider creativity to be a finite resource. I know it can be replenished, it’s not a well that can run dry, but there is only so much water to go around. And some of my plants were starting to wither. What’s worse: my kids were starting to wonder why I wasn’t home more often. Trotting out to photo shoots on Saturday and Sundays was really eating into my time with my family.

I had a lot of email requests for portrait photography services this year. And I really hate to admit this, but I didn’t even answer most of them. I didn’t know where I was, or where I was going. And if I didn’t know, how could I accept their requests? (If you were one of those people I apologize.) I also couldn’t help but feel like a bit of a pretender, just another momblogger with a fancy camera. I wasn’t sure whether I deserved this happy job. But whatever.

My last photo shoot was in July. It was a repeat customer, a really sweet couple who I once photographed with their dog. They were expecting their first child this time and wanted some photos to commemorate it. How could I say no?

The shoot went really well. I marveled, as I always do, at the thought that these two people entrusted me with this moment, and what an important thing that was. But as much as I enjoyed myself, it was not enough to sustain me creatively. It took me a couple weeks to process all the photos, and when I burned the CD and sent it on its way I felt sad and relieved at the same time.

I love all the people I meet this way. To be able to peek into their lives and create a photo of a moment in time is a wonderful thing that I treasure so much. How could I give this up?

–

Earlier this summer I had the good fortune to be able to cross something off my bucket list. A photo of mine was chosen to appear in an photography exhibition showcasing the non-tulipy grittier side of Ottawa. It was printed, enlarged, framed and publicly displayed at a very cool little gallery on Bank Street called the Fall Down Gallery. My heart felt so big.

I will keep taking photos. That won’t change. I can’t imagine a life without photography in it, but it will be on my own terms. I want to make more photos, not take more photos.

–

So, yeah. I have now realized I needed to find focus. Yesterday’s bio writing really hit it home. How can I be a really good portrait photographer, freelance writer, FT blogger, and a mom? Sidebar: whoever invented the term “life balance” deserves a swift kick in the pants. I have been feeling as scattered as the sunlight that passes through Sarah’s treasured bits of crystal that hang in our dining room window. The light comes in from one direction, and out the other side in pretty multiples, reflecting on the wall. It’s pretty, but is it sustainable? And is that original ray of light made weaker when it’s divided into so many parts? Something had to give.

Sometimes I worry that my lack of focus has affected the content of the blog. Sometimes I reflect back upon what I’ve written and I think, man, what is happening in my brain? One day it’s about social media, another day a recipe, another day a portrait, another day it’s about the dog. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad, or really, whether I should be concerned or not. Is this lack of focus hurting me in the long term? Or should I just continue to stay on the road I started on, the “this is my journal” road, the “take or leave it” road?

p.s. you don’t have to answer that. I’m totally talking to myself here. Hitting the Publish button in 1, 2, 3…typos and all.