a peek inside the fishbowl

See. I told you that I haven’t been able to shake this resolution thing from my brain.

I’m 41 years old and I’m finally a bit closer to figuring out what things (a) make me feel healthy (b) how to turn those things into a routine that sticks. You’d think that I’d know all of this by now. Perhaps that’s the trick to resolution success: knowing yourself.

I know that I’m more motivated by rewards than by punishment, so that’s something I need to take into consideration if I want to make changes. For example, I’ve been pretty good with my “treadmill before Facebook” idea. It totally works for me, just like a carrot works better than a stick.

Speaking of habits, I want to talk about my closet today.

When we renovated our house, we knew right off the bat that we all needed more storage space, especially in the bedrooms. So Mark got his own closet and I got a small walk-in. This is what my closet looks like with the door open:

Sweaters folded on the top, knick-knacks and doo-dads at eye-level (think lip glosses, pocket change, hair elastics etc.), folded jeans, a row of purses, and big baskets for socks and underwear. You can’t see it in this picture, but there’s a rail and a shelf on one side, and a shelf and two stacked rails on the other.

This closet has changed my life. Everything I own has its own place now, which has allowed me to stay (more or less) organized and tidy. In designing this small space, the idea of knowing myself has helped me make some changes I really needed to make. I know that I need things to have their own place, and that this makes it easier for me to tidy as I go, instead of a weekly hurricane of tidying.

What else is in there that’s helped me? Lessee. There is a big hamper for dirty laundry, with a lid. Baskets for socks make laundry day a little less onerous. There is a garbage can in my closet too. (This has been HUGE. Tissues and price tags and wrappers are all disposed of  immediately.) There is a bag for charitable donations, so little-worn clothing goes straight in there and it’s easy to cart away. There are hangers that are coated with fuzzy stuff so hoodies and t-shirts don’t slide off (I need more of those).  And there’s this note that I’ve posted inside my closet where I can see it every day:

These are promises I’ve made to myself recently. I could have added more – like treadmill time or remembering to eat breakfast – but I decided to focus on these things for my closet post-it.

1) Vitamins: I’m taking vitamin D and B complex.
2) Fresh air: a daily walk is good for my body and good for my brain.
3) Water: I’m not going to go overboard. This is more about being better tuned to my body and not letting myself get thirsty.
4) The one-line journal: this is something I’ll write more about this week.

And then there’s this:

5) Be Myself.

I think this is one of the most important things on my list.

There is something to be said for self-improvement. I think it’s good to challenge yourself and try to be the best person you can be, but trying to become something you’re not is a whole different ballgame.

Some of you are probably familiar with it already, but Susan Cain’s book, Quiet, changed a few things for me in this regard and it has helped me be more content.

It’s essentially about introverts. I’d never really thought about it much before but society tends to apply greater value to extroverts. Consider how many people admire Hollywood actors, people who know how to turn a phrase on camera and who are always the life of the party. But the fact is that society needs both introverts and extroverts for our world to function. The world can’t consist solely of salespeople and motivational speakers, there also need to be thinkers and wallflowers.

Surveys I’ve taken seem to indicate that I’m squarely in the middle (a so called Ambivert) and I have qualities of both introverts and extroverts. But I’ve been beating myself up about those “introvert” qualities for a long time now. Constantly forcing myself to be an extrovert isn’t doing me much good either. It’s time to stop.

I have finally realized that I can choose to be plagued by feelings of inadequacy, or not. I have decided to let go and be happier with who I am from now on… because when you let go, there’s room for other things.

The office is cold today, and I have a crapload of work to do. I’m wearing slippers and have thrown an old blanket under my feet. I have a feeling there will be a lot of coffee in the picture, not just to keep me awake, but to keep my fingers warm. There is ice on the window sills. It is deceptively sunny outside.

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For some reason I’ve been really stuck on this New Year’s resolution thing, despite the fact that I have publicly stated that I don’t “do resolutions.” I can’t seem to empty my brain of the idea. After all, January is the WORST time of year to start something new. It’s cold. It gets dark early. The entire month is Generally Demotivating. But at the same time there’s a new calendar hanging on the back door, and it’s totally clean and wide open to opportunities and change. It’s hard to reconcile these two opposing feelings I am having right now.

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I have this awful habit of reaching for my iPhone as soon as I wake up. I really hate it, because it makes me feel needy and addicted. The first thing I open is my email (I really don’t know why, because the only thing I will find there are newsletters and Spam) and the second thing is Facebook. I can easily open Facebook and waste 20 minutes seeing what my favourite people are up to, reading what they’re reading, watching what YouTube videos they’ve been watching etc.

As I went to grab my phone this morning I stopped myself and… got up. I decided I wasn’t going to waste 20 minutes in bed reading Facebook updates. I was going to spend my 20-minutes on Facebook WHILE I was on the treadmill. So that’s what I did.  I read stuff here and there, and also looked at 50 of the cutest things that happened in 2013 according to Buzzfeed (that was 10 minutes right there) and while I was doing that I was also taking a brisk walk.

And before I knew it, the 20 minutes was done. It was a pretty good way of starting the day, and it’s only twenty minutes. I figure if I can’t scrounge up and can’t invest TWENTY MINUTES in my physical and mental health I must be a pretty pathetic creature. For what it’s worth, this article gave be the added motivation I needed to do it, but also the fact that a month of eating cookies and chocolate has left me feeling pretty gross.

I’ll continue with my resolution-that’s-not-really-a-resolution until I am feeling better about myself.

Happy New Year! We had a fairly lazy New Year’s Eve here at Casa Fishbowl. For dinner we ate a whole bunch of appetizers (pizza bites, bacon-wrapped scallops, coconut chicken lollipops, veggies and dip), and then we caught Catching Fire at the Coliseum. When we got home we played video games (giving the WiiU a solid workout) and rang in the New Year with bubbly 7-up in fancy glasses. :)

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I really like the idea of making New Year’s resolutions as a family. It’s a great opportunity to come together and tackle new challenges. I think it could be a really healthy activity, one that strengthens family ties in a new and interesting way.

This year we are doing the 52-week money saving challenge. I really like the idea of doing something that involves (a) a lesson in saving money and (b) a really great pay off at the end of it. And although we’re not calling it a resolution per se, we’ve also challenged ourselves to explore new cross-country ski trails around Ottawa this winter. I just hope it warms up a little at some point.

Some other things you can do as a family, if you’re keen:

• How about making a resolution to do to a “Focused 15,” in which every night after dinner the family comes together to do a 15-minute tidy. It’s amazing how much of a difference this will make in your lives.
• Speaking of chores, you can make a resolution to tackle them in a more organized way with a chore jar. (This is what we do, and it is great.)
• What about a fitness-related challenge? A weekly family skate or swim, or an evening walk with the dog?
• What about a creative challenge? A photo-a-day project, or a family gratitude journal? I love the idea of starting a happiness jar on January 1. Start with an empty jar, and fill it up with happy moments written on slips of paper as the year goes on. Then read them all out loud at the end of the year. Imagine the sense of accomplishment you’d have if you did this for a year, and how fun it would be at the end.
• What about a family reading challenge? This could be about reading a set amount of chapter books together, or maybe starting a book club?
• What about a charitable challenge? A regular donation, or a volunteering job you can do together could make a world of difference to your family, and to others as well.
• What about a tech-related resolution? No texting at the dinner table, no iPods in the bathroom. Now’s the chance to do it!

Do you make family resolutions? I would love to hear about them if you do!